Kevin Murphy, former Wall Street managing director, community activist, speaker, and author of The Three Rooms: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, joins Kristin Maxwell to share his wisdom around changing your thoughts for greater happiness. Kevin explains how each of us has the power to feel good at any moment, if we understand how to shift our thoughts and attention from the past and future into the present. Listen in as Kevin shares his simple, yet powerful, methods for gaining control over feelings and thoughts to connect to your soul and finally find peace and happiness.
Hey everybody. Welcome to Your SuperPowered Mind. I’m your host, Kristin Maxwell. I am excited that you are here today. We have an incredible guest who I think is going to provide some really good, solid insight into what we can do to help control our mind and find our own super powers. Our guest today is Kevin Murphy, and we’re going to be talking about how to change your thoughts to gain happiness.
Kevin, like so many of the guests on this show, has an eclectic and really broad background. He is a former Wall Street managing director, and now does something I don’t quite understand still with the securities exchange. He’s a community activist, does a lot of work raising awareness around the opioid and heroin epidemic. He is a speaker. He is the author of a book, The Three Rooms: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. He also is a wrestler who has been named to the National Wrestling Hall of Fame, and is still involved in that both in his community activism and as a coach.
Kevin, welcome to Your SuperPowered Mind.
Thank you very much, Kristin. I’m excited to be here.
Your book is exactly … It talks about one of those topics that’s near and dear to my own heart, which is how to get control over your thoughts so you can really change the quality of your life.
My first question is always, “What super power did you uncover as a result of mastering your mind?”
I would have to say that I learned that you all have the power to feel good at any moment. The problem is that we relinquish that power. The good news is that we can reclaim it at any time because at any moment we have two choices. We can either let what we see and hear in the physical world determine how we feel inside, or we can let how we feel inside determine what we see and hear in the physical world. Too many of us have it backwards. We constantly let everything we see and hear outside of us determine how we feel. And since we can’t control what other people say and do, we therefore don’t control how we feel. But when we start with how we feel, even before we go out into the world in the morning, and we focus on thoughts that produce positive feelings, then we can start each day with those positive emotions like love and appreciation in our hearts. And if those feelings are your dominant intention throughout the day, then you’ll begin to attract more things into your life that produces those same feelings.
And anytime something comes up that starts to cause negative emotions within you, you can immediately shift your perception of the situation. But you must be aware of the moment you begin to feel the negative emotions. If not, they will continue to build momentum, and now what you see and hear in the physical world is controlling how you feel.
That is such a great explanation of what I see going on, what I’ve experienced, and what I’ve seen with so many of my clients. That we feel like we are powerless with how we show up in the world.
I am always curious with my guests, how did you come to this realization? What was your own process?
I never intended to write a book. I was on a, I’d say my own spiritual journey for probably 20 plus years before the book came out. The concept of the three rooms literally came to me one day when I got this image of three doors. One was labeled the past. One was labeled the present, and one was labeled the future. I started to think about each one of those doors, and I began to describe what it was like behind each door. So eventually the three doors became the three rooms because I kept describing where our thoughts go, behind the doors.
I see. That is really … You’ve got the three rooms being the past, the present, and the future.
Once we start becoming aware that our thoughts can be classified in these different ways, what’s the impact of doing that? Of classifying them.
I guess the premise of the three rooms is to.. Our experience of life is not based on what we do or what we have. It is based on what we think, and so it’s important to realize which room our thoughts are in. And by being able to monitor which room our thoughts are in, we are able to control our emotions. Because everything is really about how we feel, and so because we have so many thoughts, maybe sixty to seventy thousand thoughts a day, it’s almost impossible to monitor all these thoughts all day long. But we can monitor how we feel.
So the purpose of the three rooms is to make it easier to monitor how you feel. If you are thinking something in the past, and you’re thinking about maybe something someone said to you that you didn’t like, anything that caused negative emotion previously, then every time you think back at that, you’re reliving those negative emotions. And we call that being in the past. And any time you’re looking into the future and you’re thinking of a worse case scenario or how you may not be able to get something, and it’s causing negative emotions such as stress or anxiety, then we call that being in the future room. And really it’s just where your thoughts take you to a place that causes negative emotions, fear based emotions.
And when you’re not allowing your thoughts to pull you out of the present. When you are in the present room, you are aligned with your higher self or that consciousness, that universal conscious that we all share. That’s what we want to tap into. That’s when we start feeling things like love and appreciation, and that’s what we should be feeling all during the day, and that’s why we want to start there in the morning.
So by simply knowing which room your thoughts are in, which is really knowing how you feel, you have a built in indicator all during the day. Any time you start to feel negative emotions, its either because your thoughts are pulling you into the past, you’re recalling a past experience that causes negative emotions, or you’re worrying about something you don’t know. indication to come right back in and realign with your higher self in the present moment.
There are so many concepts here which are really, really helpful. I want to dig a little bit deeper. If people are really unfamiliar with this way of thinking and in the way that their thoughts, and their emotions, and really this connection to universal consciousness, how it all lines up, I want to into how we could start becoming aware of that. But first, we have to take a quick break. So first, can you tell people where they can learn more about you, and your work, and these three rooms?
We’re going to take a quick break, and then come back, and go a little bit more about what listeners. What they can do. How they can change their thoughts to gain happiness.