What happens when living on purpose means others put you on a pedestal? And what if that happens when you’re 9 years-old? In this down-to-earth conversation between mother and daughter, Tonya Dawn Recla and Neva Lee Recla get real about how to manage popularity and notoriety in a world fascinated with appearance and influence. Add on top of that navigating childhood and evolution in the same life experience. Neva shares how she walks the world keeping her heart and soul intact. Listen now to this fascinating conversation from a guided and clear 9 year-old who boldly shows up in her greatness.
Hello everyone. This is Tonya Dawn Recla, your Super Power Expert. I’m very excited today. I think I’m always excited. Today, I have with me, again, my beautiful, talented, amazing daughter, Neva Lee Recla.
There she is. We’re talking today. We were just having a great conversation. We decided, when you have podcasts, you should jump on and record podcasts. This is my Disrupt Reality Series.
Today, she and I are going to talk about resist the pedestal. What do we mean by that?
For me, it basically means whenever it has this image of you, showing them a different point of view that, “No, this is me and just this you, you have of me.” Also, to me, it means think outside of the box. Don’t let stereotypes or the status quo stop you.
I think that’s brilliant. Some of that’s coming up because people are starting to interact with you differently, right? You’re starting to get feedback from people before you’ve ever met them that says, “Oh my gosh. You’re Neva. I have seen you on this.” What is that like for you?
It’s interesting because seeing people perceive of me as this one thing versus me knowing. That’s a part of me, but that’s not me being fully Neva. It’s weird being able to think that’s not me, but no. It’s me.
What’s the popular thing? What do you think people think about who you are? How did they think they know you?
Most of the time, people know me because I do business. They’ll think of me as like, “I’m a strong, independent businesswoman.”
A part of me. But then I think, well, another part of me is that weirdo, young nine-year-old Neva.
But I don’t think it’s just that. I mean there’s other things that people think they know about you.
There are and many different things.
Especially from kids, I think that’s it. You’ve received that feedback from adults for a while now. What’s it like to have kids find you.
It’s again interesting, but it’s almost even harder because I want to make more friends with kids, but a lot of my friends are adults. I want to have a kid friend, but then they perceive me as, let’s just say, the strong independent businesswoman. Then I know that’s not always me. When they perceive of me as that, it’s almost hard, like, “Oh, this could be a possible new friend.” They don’t have a lot of kids friends. How do I tell them this is me as well and not ruin their perceived? How do I say this?
Their perception of you?
Their perception of me.
Well and I’d like to touch on that because I do think that’s a fear that a lot of parents hold is that if they encourage their kids and their brilliance, they’re going to ostracize them and create a situation where they can’t relate to other kids. Your dad and I faced that and to a lot of criticism as you can imagine, because we have one box, really, that we put kids in. There’s a lot of kids that fall outside the bounds of that box. It’s just I think, as a society, we’re not real comfortable talking about it. I almost think it’s too oversimplified to say, “Well, I have a lot of adult friends and I don’t have a lot of kid friends.” I don’t think that’s true at all.
I think on a lot of levels, you have a misconception that a lot of kids have a lot of really close, intimate, interconnected relationships. I’m here to tell you, babe, they don’t. Because you’ve experienced that. Because a lot of your adult friends have the ability to meet you in that space and to really connect in a heart space, it’s easy to think that would happen with kids also. What’s cool, I think, is that you’re starting to find kids who can meet you in that space. I think you held the belief for a long time that it’s not possible. I would love for you to flesh that out a little bit because I’m not sure that it’s total truth to make that dichotomy of, “I have adult friends or I have kid friends.” Can you try to speak to that middle place a little bit?
Yeah. My higher self is very aware of the fact that kids are more than capable of meeting me in that space, who I am. By now, my little ego babies are trying to tell me otherwise that only adults can meet me in that space because some people and even a little part of me thinks that adults would be more advanced in those areas.
But you’ve met a lot of adults who can’t meet you in that space.
I am. I’ve met a lot of kids who can.
I know that’s very much not true. I think that when I was speaking, that absolutely don’t label.
Yeah, it happens. We all do it, right? It wasn’t meant to call you out or anything. It’s just let’s try to be as really run truthful as we can be because you represent this concept of what’s possible in the world. If we don’t really act in integrity with it and speak truthfully about it, then we run the risk of misrepresenting it. I think that would be a shame, in my opinion. I also think it doesn’t take into account the idea of you, self selecting in a lot of ways. You have opportunities too. I want to make sure that it’s not my ego as a mom going, “No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. You have opportunity. Wait, wait. We let you play with kids. Wait, wait, wait.”
I’m monitoring that also, but I do think there’s something to be said that is truthful in the fact that, despite the fact that you may have opportunities with certain kids, you actively perhaps don’t pursue relationships with certain kids because it is, well, I mean, speak to that, what’s your experience when you do have an opportunity to connect with kids, but they’re not willing to meet you or are able even to meet you in this emotional intelligence space. How do you make that internal decision?
A part of it is very hard for me because, “Oh look. There’s this new friend that I’ve made. It’s a cool new kid friend who’s around my age.” Then I realized that, “Oh, we don’t really connect in certain ways that are maybe more Neva than they are.” Not Neva, you know?
No, I don’t know. What do you mean by that?
We’ll be connecting and they’ll almost be like this clear glass that’s separating us. It’s like I think I’m actually connecting with them on certain things, but then I realized that, “Oh, that’s not what I talk about a whole lot.” realized, “Oh, that’s not really Neva. It is that to that person is.” It is hard “losing a friend”. But that friend has obviously let me grow. We’ve grown a little bit. Now it’s time to lovingly release them. They can go out in the open, and there’s tons of other friends for them and tons of other friends for me. But it is hard because my mind wants to tell me, “Oh my gosh. It’s so sad. You’re losing a friend.” Then, my higher self says to me it would actually be even harder if they stayed your friend because they would be making you something that you are not.
That’s tough, baby.
I don’t know that we ever get away from that completely because there’s so many different personality types that we interact with. My belief is..
So many people you love and appreciate. You care for them. They care for you, but then you really see a different side of them. That is one of the hardest things I have to do, not have to, I get to do because it is tough knowing I really connected with this being the sphere of light and God’s child. Then I realized that, “Oh, maybe they’re not as connected to me as I thought they were.”
Which typically means they’re not as connected to themselves or to the Divine or their own soul, right?
It’s almost that clear glass breaks. I really get to see who they actually are. I get to realize, “Oh, that’s not really the person I was connecting with the entire time.”
Yeah, I understand completely. I want to take a quick break here. You can find more about Neva, nevaleerecla.com. Go to her show page, superpowerkids.com. Stay with us because when we come back, I want to dive into what it’s like to be in conscious awareness as the concept of fame and notoriety starts to unfold before your eyes and what that experience is like. Stick with us. We’re talking with Neva Lee Recla today about resist the pedestal. We’ll be right back.