Fruit of the poisonous tree
As I mentioned previously, the perpetuation of rape culture sullies intimate relationships in ways that create a huge epidemic no one wants to talk about. Every male/female couple, probably others, not limiting, simply not covered here, suffers from the taint splattered all over sexual intimacy within every culture identifying in the rape paradigm. And the effects impact our relationships, our children, our families and our communities.
This concept requires a bit of a leap, so bare with me. It’ll make sense on the backside.
Premise number one: When we limit our exploration of sexual intimacy to simply the physical act that happens on the surface (like the material plane surface, not the bed surface or table surface or counter surface or airplane bathroom surface), we rob ourselves of one of the most amazing experiences possible between a man and a woman. When we choose to see each other, experience each other and know each other beyond duality, we win. Where two become one isn’t a mystery, it’s alchemy. It is possible, it is miraculous and, if it calls to your heart, it is worth it.
Premise number two: Diving deeply into the rape-as-control motif, we can swim around in the fear that drives uncontrolled urges to control. There we find a deep desire to connect, inappropriately fueled with force, but a deep desire to love and be loved. Of course this is hard to see, especially with so many wounds laid on top, but dig deep and you’ll find it. We can only resort to violence when we feel separated from the other and we only feel separated when we don’t know ourselves to be loved. The only way to perpetuate fear is to be in fear and we can only be in fear when we aren’t in love. These are frequencies, not emotions, and both can’t be experienced in the same moment. That which is made in fear can never know love until it gets reimagined from a higher vantage point.
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These two premises combine to create a fertile foundation for acculturating rape or suggesting that it has been acculturated. I suppose that’s actually premise number three: there really is no difference between acculturating rape and believing that we acculturate rape. This article illustrates just one example of what happens when we choose to invest our creative energy in examining aspects of human behavior and developing theories from them. Once something gets made, even as a word, a thought, an idea, it exists. The degree to which it materializes is up to us, individually and collectively.
The moment “rape culture” whispered sweet nothings in the deep recesses of a social scientist’s or activist’s or journalist’s or sadist’s mind was the cleanest and most powerful moment of choice. In those moments, we’re tested with the temptation to make the depths of human behavior real or to see beyond, recognize our divine nature and call that forward. We don’t really understand the enormous creative potential we wield in every moment.
And because of that, we spend a lot of time making things real that later have to be deconstructed and reimagined.
So integrating those three premises, if we take the time to ponder, we start to see a connection between current events and a race of beings that believes one half isn’t capable of much more than violent tendencies and will use everything at its disposal to perpetuate them and the other half is powerless to do anything about it. Relationships form on distrust, children get created from deep-seated fear and hatred so rooted it’s nearly impossible to suss out in a single, individual lifetime, and all of this feeds the very notion that started the whole mess to begin with; that somehow, someway we’re so vastly different, so incapable of giving and receiving love, we’re justified in attacking and destroying each other. And our children carry forward what we’re too afraid to set down.
Get off
Certainly this exposé does nothing more than shine light on areas worth exploring (continue reading).
About the Author: Tonya Dawn Recla
