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Your Ego Wants to Kill You: Gary Renard Tackles the Myth of Consciousness

Gary Renard

Consciousness as a new age evolutionary concept and the quest for higher degrees of it, takes reality and turns it on its head. It holds a pivotal spot in current dialogues about spiritual growth, new thought, self help, and personal development. And it appears to be a worthwhile goal. In fact, that’s exactly how we designed it.

That’s right, I just made the bold claim that we designed it. Well, truthfully, I didn’t make that claim. Many others made it before me, and most recently, so did Gary Renard…again. As a world-renowned teacher of A Course in Miracles, Gary and his wife, Cindy Lora-Renard, continue to push the envelope and challenge concepts that rock the very foundation of our realities.

Jesus, Buddha and Gary Renard

The Lifetimes when Jesus and Buddha Knew Each Other Gary Renard

In his latest book, The Lifetimes When Jesus and Buddha Knew Each Other: A History of Mighty Companions, Gary takes a courageous stand and shares information gifted to him from his teachers, Ascended Masters Arten and Pursah. They outline the various lifetimes when Jesus and Buddha walked the world together in different types of relationships. Now, I operate in some pretty “out there” arenas and this took even me a moment to digest. After getting past the initial indoctrinated-reaction pertaining to sacrilege, I settled into the question of “What if?”

What if Jesus and Buddha spent numerous lifetimes together? Well, it certainly explains a few things. Like the similarities between the hearts of Christian and Buddhist teachings. And the consistencies in the “anointed one” archetype. Okay, so let’s say they really did know each other and planned to meet up in various settings at various times to pursue the embodiment of oneness in the physical world. That certainly pokes some holes in religious doctrine, but it makes sense.

The Myth of Consciousness

So after settling into the surreal notion of Jesus and Buddha being buddies, lovers, cousins, father/son, etc. (don’t worry, there’s a handy-dandy table in the Appendix of the book that outlines everything – refer back to it often), I then tackled the implications of looking at this premise through the lens of separation vs oneness.

This takes the notion of singularity to a whole different level

This takes the notion of singularity to a whole different level.

One of the things I admire most about Gary is his complete, unapologetic, unwavering commitment to professing pure non-dualism. This takes the notion of singularity to a whole different level. The Course calls it the “sonship” but don’t get dissuaded by the use of the masculine or the biblical undertones, this is powerful stuff. I don’t need to elaborate on it here, The Course, Gary’s work, and Cindy’s book all do a fantastic job of explaining it.

And while he’s always been true to the message, in The Lifetimes of Jesus and Buddha, Gary takes that commitment to another level. And he pulls no punches. For those of you familiar with his previous works, you know that Arten and Pursah flat out told Gary he wasn’t “going home” this lifetime. That he had one more lifetime, as Pursah, (if you haven’t read his books, I know it’s convoluted but stick with me…it will make sense) before his forgiveness work is complete. Well, there’s a plot twist in this one, folks. I won’t reveal it here, but trust that Gary’s on a mission and, if he has his way, nothing will stop him.

But let’s get back to the idea of oneness and the true concept of pure non-dualism. The implications of this take us way beyond conversations about consciousness. You see, the pursuit of consciousness actually solidifies and makes real expanded versions of reality and denies us the possibility of connecting to the very thing we claim to want. I know, I know, but consciousness is all the rage. And we get messages from our guides and all the thought leaders claim that consciousness is where it’s at. All the cool kids are talking about raising consciousness and the pursuit of mass consciousness.

I get it. I started out there too.

A rung on the ladder to other states of awareness

A rung on the ladder to other states of awareness.

In fact, the original message of Super Power Experts was about waking up people and encouraging mass consciousness. I’m not saying it’s a worthless activity, I’m saying it’s not quite the end game we thought. In fact, it falls in the category of “check the box” alongside pursuing personal development, exploring spiritual growth, and understanding cryptocurrency (you knew that was getting in here somewhere). All are noble pursuits, until the pursuit leads you to realize it was only a way point. A rung on the ladder to other states of awareness. I’m not alone in this philosophy, Gary acknowledges his roots in self-help, but is very clear that something lies beyond that. Circling around within the consciousness dialogue eventually starts to feel stale and desperate. It’s a hamster wheel you only see when you make the bold decision to stop running on it.

And what comes after that is the reason we wake up slowly.

Your Ego Wants to Kill You

Before we get into the concept of waking up, let’s discuss the role of the ego in all of this. I once fell into the category of people who tried to make nice with their ego. I taught things like Feeding Your Demons and loving all your fear pieces. And I think those techniques work at certain levels of remembering. Particularly as we work through concepts of self-worth. However, there comes a time when it just isn’t helpful to pretend the pieces of us that have a vested interested in perpetuating a separation belief really have our best interests at heart:

There are people who will teach you that you should “make friends with your ego.” But I’ve got news for them. The ego is not interested in being your friend. Your ego wants to kill you. Because if you can be hurt or killed, then you’re a body. And if you’re a body, then the entire ego thought system of separation is true. The only thing you can really do with your ego is undo it. A Course in Miracles is about undoing the ego, or the false you that has come to identify itself with the body and separation. But the real you has nothing to do with the body or separation. – Gary Renard

And this plays out in the consciousness conversation. In a really elaborate way the ego continues to create further reaches of the multiverse for us to discover and deeper depths within ourselves to explore. All of this is worthwhile as long as we don’t fall into the trap of making it real. And instead we use it in full knowingness that this projection isn’t our true reality and everything exists to provide us an opportunity to get closer and closer to oneness.

And that comes with its own share of mind-blown-ness.

The Disappearance of Everything

When I first heard about Gary’s book, The Disappearance of the Universe, I thought, Huh? Where’s it going? I wasn’t real sure I wanted to read the book. Something in me knew it contained information I would never be able to not-know once I dove down the rabbit hole. But, alas, I dove anyway. And sure enough when I finished reading it, tears streamed down my face and I heard a voice say:

And now you know.

Fight Club

Blips of Tyler Durden recognition.

It was the first time since breaking out of the matrix decades prior that I felt both exhilarated and terrified simultaneously. And in that moment – I remembered. Not an experience of astral traveling somewhere and “getting it.” Or meditating as a means of connecting. Or taking some psychotropic substance to access hidden realms in my brain. Or the Ancient One blasting me out of my physical body to experience Dormammu. Or even hearing the voice of God. It was a wide awake, completely conscious, fully embodied, visceral experience of remembering…and the universe truly did disappear.

When I say disappear, I mean gone. Caput. Vanished. I saw behind and between everything. Forget the slashes of light, black cat walking past again and blips of Tyler Durden recognition – I’m saying gone.

As I matched up that experience with the conversation Gary and I had in our most recent interview, Jesus, Buddha and Gary Renard, my mind circled around a concept. Beyond the reality-shattering premise that Jesus and Buddha shared multiple lifetimes is something even bigger. It’s the very real disappearance of everything. And, as Gary so courageously teaches, there are no exceptions to pure non-dualism. No exceptions. Not the world, not your favorite sports team, not the politician you love to hate, not your spouse, not your kids, not your dog, not Jesus, and not Buddha. Nothing exists outside of you. There is only one. You are the only one here. And you’re not even here.


And that’s why we wake up slowly.