In this episode of SuperPower Mommas, Jennifer Hurvitz, relationship coach, author and podcast host, joins Laura Greco as they explore what to consider when facing relationship issues. Jennifer helps people understand what a happy divorce can look like and how to dip their toes back into dating and face the world. In addition, she loves sharing her insight on how to stay in the marriage successfully too! She is a momma of two teenage boys and you are warmly invited to listen in on this discussion as we focus on the core of relationships whether you are in a marriage or navigating a divorce situation.
Hello and welcome. You’re listening to SuperPower Mommas and I am your podcast host, Laura Greco, stumbling over my words already. I’m so excited to be with you today. We are talking on a topic with what to consider when facing relationship issues with Jennifer … Oh, I didn’t ask you how to say that last name.
You’re good, Hurvitz, Hurvitz.
Hurvitz, thank you. Yes. I’m so excited. Actually, we met for the first time on the phone here and so I’m very excited to have her, but she’s known for her no nonsense approach to dating and divorce. She is a relationship coach, a bestselling author and the host of Doing Divorce Right podcast. Happily divorced since 2014, Jennifer lives in Charlotte with her two sons, or two teenage boys actually. Through her popular blog, The Truth Hurts … is that Hurvitz?
And weekly podcasts, she helps people understand what a happy divorce can look like and how to dip their toes back into the dating world. She loves sharing her insight on how to stay in a successful marriage too. Reaching out via … and then, yeah, we’re going to share your contact information as we go forward for this, but thank you so much and welcome to the show.
Thank you, I’m glad to be here. I’m excited, thank you for having me.
Yeah, so this is very exciting. You know, considering this relationship issues, you know, what do we consider? This is going to be really exciting and a very different show for me.
Oh, I’m glad.
Yeah, for our mommas here because there’s all kinds of things going on in family.
Oh, I believe it, right It’s really.. I think all relationships are difficult, whether you’re married, you’re dating, you’re divorced. Relationships are tough, right? I just think interpersonal relationships in general are just really difficult.
Yeah, yeah. It takes something, it takes us to really show up in it and go from there, yeah. We’re going to start with our traditional question and then we’re going to dive into all of this stuff. So our traditional question is, what’s your super momma power?
Can you hear me? Oh, did we break up? Yeah.
Repeat it one more time.
What’s your momma super power?
Oh, my momma superpower. Let me think. Well you know, it’s funny, I think my momma superpower, it’s something new. I didn’t use to have this and I think it came along with kind of getting happily divorced, and I say happily divorced, I have to say. I am pro marriage, which is funny. I actually believe that if you can work on a marriage, you should stay in it, but if it’s, if you’re in an unhealthy marriage, you should get out. So that’s my kind of take on things. But when I say happily divorced, I mean that I’m not like so happy to be divorced, but I am in a happy divorce. Does that make sense?
Yes, it does.
So once I got out of my marriage and I, you know, my ex-husband and I happen to be really good friends and we co-parent beautifully, I realized that I had something that I never had before, and that’s grit. I feel like my superpower is perseverance and grit. And I never knew I had it. You know, I, I think I woke up one day and I realized that I was basically like a single mom and I’m my own and I had to kind of prove to my boys and myself that I could get out of bed and do this, right?
I think that’s my super power.
That is really great, and it’s so great to recognize that you have that superpower because divorce can be devastating.
Oh my God, you know, it is devastating. Any way you slice it, it is devastating and I think that’s kind of why I wrote my second book. You know, the first book was One Happy Divorce and the second book was Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda: A Divorce Coach’s Guide to Staying Married because I feel like people don’t realize, and I know that you do, but people that are married don’t realize what divorce actually looks like and how devastating it actually is. I didn’t, I didn’t realize when I got divorced what it was actually going to entail. It wasn’t until I was in that dark spot that I was like, “Oh my God, I have to find a way to get out of this,” right? It’s awful, it’s awful.
Yeah. Well, it’s actually breaking down and tearing up a relationship. I mean, an entity, like a person, it’s like a person.
Torn apart, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, and you know, you lose that whole, you know, idea of what your life is going to be. That story, the fairy tale, right?
It’s just hard. A marriage is hard too. Marriage is tough and it takes work. So I love your questions. I loved reading those questions. You know, what is your super power? Because it puts such a positive spin on everything. Like you know, and I’ve had to think about it. I was like, what is my superpower? So I loved that question. I thought it was awesome.
Awesome. Well, I’m so glad that you came up with a wonderful answer actually.
Because I’m going to ask you about your superpower and how that has really assisted you as a mom..
Yeah. Yeah, it has, it totally has assisted me because I think that also kids, they need to see, you know, they need, especially I have teenagers, I have a 15-year-old and a 16-year-old and they were younger when, four years ago we got divorced. But to see me actually not quit, not give up, keep going, keep persevering, and it shows them that I can do it, right? So that they can do it too.
I’m hoping that my super power can translate into their everyday life, right? Which is really kind of cool. They say things to me like, “Oh my gosh mom.” You know, like writing a book. I never thought I could ever write a book. I got divorced and started writing, right? So out of something so horrible became something so beautiful. I took my divorce, made lemons, took lemons and turned them into lemonade, which I could never have done, right?
So it’s really kind of cool.
Yeah, yeah. So you’re proving to that point of it’s not what we are experiencing in life so much as what we are doing about it being through it and what we’re learning and experiencing through the process.
Right. Don’t you think that’s true? Don’t you feel that way, kind of?
Oh my gosh, yes I do. No matter what. Because you know, we only do the best we can in the moment that we’re in.
Oh my gosh. I just learned that this week at mindfulness, right? And showing up that minute and you know, I learned that looking behind you causes depression if you look at the past, and if you look ahead of you, it causes anxiety. So why not live in the moment in the space that you’re in?
Oh right, and we can see more clearly when we’re looking forward. If we keep looking backwards, we’re going to go crooked.
Yes. Right? I mean, I just love that I’m here today because I feel like it’s such a great, this is a great show. I just really think you’re doing such a great job with the whole momma thing. I love it.
Thank you, thank you. I’m so excited about it too.
I’m glad to be here.
Yeah, so when we think about that and the work that you’re doing, let’s just briefly before we go for break, can you mention how, this evolved for you, obviously out of the divorce. What made you think that you were actually going to do this rather some than some other work?
Oh my gosh Lord, I’ll make it quick. You tell me if I go too long, just please interrupt me.
You know, I just actually, I decided one day, like for cathartic reasons, purpose, like all selfish, it was really selfish. I’m like, you know, I’m just going to start writing. I was a DJ in a dance and one day I just got up and like, “You know, I’m going to start writing.” I started the blog, it’s called The Truth Hurvitz, and I was like, I’m just going to write down how I’m feeling.
I never thought anyone would read it. I swear to you, never. I’m like, I’ll just put it up and see what happens. And all of a sudden I have like a thousand readers and then I had 2,000 and then I had this following, it was crazy. Then I got a call from an agent out in LA that said we want to write a screenplay, like a TV show.
Yes, which just kept evolving. So it’s just, you know, I think people related, it was real relatable to so many women and men too. We’re going through where I was saying what they were feeling.
It was relatable. I think that was really kind of cool.
Right, you’re a spokesman for this. Because often when we suffer, we suffer in silence, right?
We don’t go out there and talk about it and resolve it to keep us.
So this is beautiful. Yeah, we are going to take a break so I would love for you to share where people can find you and all your beautiful information.
Perfect. Perfect. Yeah, we’re going to go for a quick break. You’ve been listening to SuperPower Mommas and we’ve been talking on the topic of what to consider when facing relationship issues, and we’re going to dive into that a little more in the next part of our show so stay with us.