Laurice Duffy, a certified life coach, joins Laura Greco on SuperPower Mommas as they discuss how to find self worth while facing pain, fear and loss. Laurice, who is also the owner of Mindful Journey and has her Bachelor’s degree in psychology, shares her journey through the loss of her husband to ALS. Together, she and her husband raised 4 sons, (1 set of triples and a younger boy) and she shares her story of moving through this experience with grace and love for herself as well as her family. Laurice is dedicated to helping women shift their perspective, remove fear, gain strength and heighten awareness to design their best life. Today she enjoys her 4 sons as well as her friends and clients and the newest member of their family, a puppy called Fenway. I warmly invite you to listen in and experience the love and energy of a woman who walks her talk.
Hello. I’m Laura Greco, your host of SuperPower Mommas, and I’m so excited to present this information to you today on how to find self-worth while facing pain, fear, or loss. I have with me a beautiful young woman. Her name is Laurice Duffy, and she is a mom of four teenage boys. Three of them are triplets. She is a certified Life Coach with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. She’s a blogger and the owner of her business, which is A Mindful Journey. Her mission is to help women to shift their perspective, remove fear, gain strength with awareness, design their best lives. She loves yoga, long walks with her puppy, Fenway, and spending time with her family and friends. For a daily dose of inspiration, she’s going to tell you how we can find her on Instagram as well as Facebook. So welcome, Laurice. I’m so, so happy that you’re here. Laurice?
Hi, Laura. So glad to be here.
Yes. Yeah, Laurice actually grew up in my own hometown. So, it’s very exciting to have you here with me today. You went to school with my brother, actually.
Yes, yes. We actually share the same birth…
Oh, that’s right. He did tell me that. Oh, my goodness.
Yes, yes, yes.
That’s so fun. That is so fun. Well, that’s actually how I met Laurice, sister of my brother. He encouraged me to reach out to you and this discussion that we’re having on how to find self-worth while facing fear or loss and pain is actually something that touches you on an extremely personal level. So, I’m very, actually, honored that you could be here to share your wisdom and your journey with us today. Laurice, we always start.
Well thank you.
Yeah, thank you. We always start our show with describing “what’s your momma SuperPower?”
So, as you stated, I have triplets. I have four teenage boys, three of whom are triplets and I’m a recent widow. So, my momma SuperPower is definitely strength.
In order to maintain our home and keep the flow going and take really good care of my kids during such a difficult time, my strength was extremely necessary for them to know that everything was going to be okay. So, I think strength would definitely be my SuperPower, my momma SuperPower for sure.
Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So, tell me more about that. I would like to know how that SuperPower strength really assisted you in experience. And even before that, like when you were raising your boys, tell me about how this SuperPower is your, has been your strength.
Yeah. Well, before Kevin got sick, I think it helped me in a sense. I had four kids, two and a half years old and under when my youngest was born, I ran a business, and there was a lot of orders and a lot of rules that needed to be put in place in order for things to, for there to be a sense of organization, and for things to sort of work. So, I think that we always had, there was always sort of a sense of order and always a strength and a need for rules to be put in place. And then, Kevin, got sick and basically, I think that when Kevin got sick, he had been ill and declining. Kevin had ALS.
And when giving the kids his confirmed diagnosis of ALS, because at first, we thought that possibly it was Lyme disease because a lot of the symptoms overlap. So we really went down that route, tried to get him better. I educated myself. I really did a lot to try to, we saw over 20 doctors, but there came a point where he was, even though on antibiotic, on IV antibiotic, he was declining. So when we sat the kids down, we were then given a confirmed diagnosis of ALS. We went to Columbia and we were given a confirmed diagnosis of ALS, and we have to sit our kids down, and we had to share that with them again, for the second time. And the only words that were spoken in that meeting were, “Mom, are you okay?” And at first I was confused by that. I really thought to myself, “Why are they asking me this question and not my husband?” And I actually felt a little bit bad, but I realized that from my kid’s perspective, their parents being their safety and security, they knew they were going to lose their dad, but they wanted to make sure that they weren’t going to lose their mom.
You see, if I was okay, they knew that they will be okay. And that’s when I took my power back and I realized my friends would help them be okay.
Isn’t that amazing?
You know? In a situation where I felt that I had no control. I recognized that I didn’t have control to get my husband better, which I tried to do going through the whole line. You know, we did that for a year and a half, but I realized that I had the ability to make my kids okay and be the best example to them that I could be of strength and what it’s like to go through a very challenging, difficult situation, because everybody has them. And as adults they’re going to have them, too. And I thought this would be something, a gift that I could give to them.
Yes, yes, yes. And look at the gift they gave to you by asking you that question and allowing you to reflect on that.
Oh yeah, no, no.
No, not at all. I’m happy to share and feel that it’s my service to others who are either going through a very difficult time or have had experiences with losing a spouse or just fear in general, just a fear of what could happen and knowing that there is this reserve of strength that we all have that we can tap into and It’s important for people to know that.
Yes, yes. And for you, it really became, it was a strength already, but apparently it became that SuperPower for you, and the fact that you were actually called upon to use this in a special way during that time period. And I think your example really gives us all hope. You know, that. And we can choose to be a victim of a circumstance, or we can choose to rise up and face it with courage. And I see that in you and I see that you’ve also been able to be an example of that for your children as well.
Voice isn’t it? You’re welcome. You’re very welcome.
Well, you know Laura, there is a principle. It’s a coaching principle. And it goes like this. Each moment describes who you are and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be. During Kevin’s illness, when I was feeling angry or like a victim, I referred back to this principal often. And I reminded myself of who I wanted it to be. And I knew that who I wanted to be was the example of strength for my children in a horrible and devastating situation.
And that was an opportunity. It was an opportunity, and for my husband as well. And it was an opportunity to really be the example, and the choice to be the example of anger and “why me?” and victim-like behavior, or it was an example, or it was an opportunity to be the example of commitment, love, kindness, and strength. And when I would maybe have a day that I felt really low, I would refer back to that principle and remind myself that I couldn’t change my husband’s health but I could change the experience my children were having with this situation, with our circumstances and that’s what I chose to do.
And I love that you did that. And what a great example for the rest of us. It’s the torch of going forward in life, whether it’s a small thing or a larger, and really, it’s all relative depending on each of us. So, because no pain or fear is too small that it should not be addressed by us. Right? We do have to take a short break. So, I’m going to ask you to share with people where they can find you and then when we come back, we’ll continue this conversation. So where can they find you?
Love it. Thank you so much. I’m so grateful you’re all here listening to our topic of how to find self-worth while facing fear or loss or pain. So, stay with us. We’ll be right back.