What priceless gifts are there to uncover in the journey through and to perfectionism? In this episode of The Science of Superpowers, host Tonya Dawn Recla is joined by guest Julian Reeve, music director for the hit play Hamilton and author of Captain Perfection & the Secret of Self-Compassion: A self-help book for the young perfectionist. Tonya and Julian dive deep into a really unique perspective on how perfectionists can realize their potential in healthier ways with no compromise to the standards they hold. Join Tonya and Julian in today’s episode and learn how to unwrap the gifts within perfectionism.
Hello, everyone and welcome back to The Science of Superpowers. We are so glad that you’re listening. We’re so glad that you’re here, and we’re really excited that you’re as excited about superpowers as we are because it’s exciting stuff. There’s a lot of people doing amazing, amazing, amazing things with them, and our guest today, of course, is no exception to that. As we’re going into this conversation of the journey through and to perfectionism, I really want to frame it up in a way to just ask you to let that mind go all kinds of mushy for a minute and don’t worry about the boxes that you’ve created before.
Don’t worry about what you think you know and the labels, and if I agree, if I disagree, or anything like that. This show is all about allowing those innate kinds of abilities of skills we have, those talents we have, the way that we look at the world to shine its light on the world in a really different way. Many, many, many of us are working in that space, and in order to traverse it and really get the experience of and the benefit of all of the gifts that unfold for you in that space, you have to be willing to suspend some disbelief.
If you’ve listened to me for more than a minute on any of my shows, then you know that I’m always going to push the envelope with that. With this topic of perfectionism, in particular, I want you to settle into yourself and see where you’ve got your own stuff in this, where you’re seeing yourself reflected. Perhaps things that you still do that you need to address, or maybe things that you once did, or things that you’re seeing in people around you.
Let’s see if we can’t have a little bit more compassion with those aspects of ourselves and in others, so that we can perhaps understand them better and move them into space where they are a benefit to all of us, and wouldn’t that be lovely. We’re just going to dream that into existence, and we’re going to start here and now by introducing Julian Reeve to the show. We’re just really excited to have him on the show. I’m not going to say it’s because he happened to be involved with Hamilton in 2017. Was that right, Julian?
Correct. Actually, 2016 on the Broadway production, and then I took out the first national tour in 2017.
Oh my goodness. That’s so great. As excited as that makes us, trust me when I say that this work that he’s doing right now is so much bigger, if I could even say that, but so much bigger in the sense that as he stepped through those spaces and came into this awareness. That’s what happens when we step into our gap and we really shine for the world to see. I think it’s really safe to say Julian is doing that. Julian, welcome to the show. We’re so excited to have you.
Thank you for having me, Tonya. It’s great to be here.
Well, we’re going to start in and ask, not just what are your superpowers, but how are you using them for good in the world?
Really great question. I think my ultimate superpower is probably resilience. I’m not entirely sure how or why, but I developed a really strong foundation for resilience to change in particular when I was a kid. That has really held me firm throughout my life. The ups and downs, the moving around a lot, the constant career changes. It’s something that I’ve certainly relied on. I suppose that resilience gives a solid foundation to vulnerability and openness. I suppose resilience isn’t necessarily directly serving me right now. What it is doing is directly serving the openness and the vulnerability, which are the parts that actually serve other people through my work.
Beautifully said. I love that, which you know, of course, then I would push back a little bit and say in return, of course, then that absolutely feeds us. It’s that beautiful law of reciprocity because you’re willing to do that. I think for those of us who walk on these paths, as a matter of fact, it’s great that it sounds good on paper at times, but that was a journey that I was going through. Sometimes it was blind, and sometimes only in retrospect did anything make any sense. Sometimes it wasn’t all that fun, and sometimes it was painful.
I think we get on those journeys, and it’s easy to forget that it took courage to take that first step. No matter how many steps in we were where it became, it just was, and there was almost no turning back like you’re going to go forward in this developmental process regardless. Right prior to that, that’s a choice. I think for a lot of us in the beginning, it’s a moment by moment choice sometimes not to go back into wanting to be not aware, like-
Actually certainly for me, and this was a very personal journey for me, I think subconsciously what went hand in hand with resilience was also the understanding that actually I completely committed or subscribed to the fact that we have one purpose. I think we have many purposes, and I think our purpose actually develops as we develop as human beings. When people ask you when you’re close to the end, “Well, have you been a success?” I think being aware that life will point you in certain directions, and if you’re open enough and vulnerable enough to listen and be brave and be courageous enough to follow where the universe is pushing you, then I think the answer will be yes to success.
It’s not about money. It’s not about possessions. It’s not about stature. It’s true. It’s true to yourself. It’s true to why you are here. I think society’s almost fixation on us staying on one road and being fully committed to the thing is almost dangerous in a way because we get so preoccupied with what that is and the search for that.
It’s like we drive down this really long, thin road. Because we’re so focused on the destination, we stop seeing the road signs. We stop seeing the directions. Therefore, we miss the roads that come off the main road that actually we were supposed to take that junction to take us somewhere better. We miss that because we’re so focused on where we’re going.
Really beautifully said. I love that. We’re going to take a quick break here, but right before I do, the thought that came through my head is that in our world, we’ve said it in the way of when you wake up every morning and you remember who you are, you win. That’s light. Then everything that proceeds from that place is informed by that kind of brilliance, that light that shines inside of you.
The courage to be that, to even pursue what even that might be to even ask, “Wait, maybe is there more? Like, am I not being that?” Just to even be in the inquiry of it, I think, is a win, and people should celebrate that within themselves. Before we go to break and talk about the journey through and to perfectionism, Julian, where can people go to find out more about you?
My website, julianreeve.com, the Captain Perfection website. We’ll talk about perfectionism maybe later on. It’s captain-perfection.com. I’m around on Instagram, Facebook, all of those usual social places.
Beautiful. We will absolutely be talking about perfectionism. We’re talking today with Julian Reeve about the journey through and to perfectionism. Do not miss us, folks. Stay here. You’re going to want to come right back after the break and hear about this really unique perspective on how to approach perfectionism. I know some of you can relate to that, so stick with us, and we will be right back after the break.
To listen to the entire show click on the player above or go to the SuperPower Up! podcast on iTunes.
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