In this episode relationship expert, Kim Von Berg, joins SLSP host Tatiana Berindei to discuss how to handle emotional triggers in a relationship. An authority in empowered relationships, a sought-after speaker, trainer and coach, Kim gives a step-by-step process for slowing down a trigger and turning it into an opportunity for growth and transformation. You don’t want to miss this one!
Hello everyone, welcome to the Sex Love and SuperPowers Podcast show. I’m your host Tatiana Berindei, and today I have with me Kim Von Berg and we are going to be discussing transforming our triggers in a relationship. Before we dive in, let me tell you a little about Kim.
For over 20 years, Kim Von Berg has been a relationship coach specializing in healthy romantic partnerships. Her business Thriving, Loving Relationships, has been flourishing since 1997. As an authority in empowered relationships, Kim is a sought after speaker, trainer, and coach, who assists clients towards a life of positive communication and fulfilling relationships. Kim is recognized for her unparalleled approach to communication and offers a transformative process that results in relationships becoming the greatest catalyst for personal growth and an experience of genuine happiness. Welcome to the show, Kim.
Thank you, thank you so much for having me. I’m really excited to be here.
Yeah, I’m excited to have you and I love what you said there about relationships being the greatest catalyst for personal growth, because I absolutely believe that to be true. So I can already tell this is going to be a great convo.
I believe that too.
Before we dive in, will you tell us what your super powers are?
Oh wow. I know you put that forth yesterday, and I’ve been thinking about it. It’s hard to get it down to the essence. Okay, so I’m gonna say the essence of what I know has been there as long back as I can remember, is a huge compassionate heart for humans and animals and I guess all sentient beings really. Really what that went into, I think was kind of the motivating factor for me to get really good at deep listening, which is a listening, I call it like the advanced form of listening that comes from empathy and compassion, and it’s an ability to get outside my own personal lens to be able to get into the shoes of another to really see their point of view and even if they have different values than I do, to be able to step into where they’re coming from and to really have some deep understanding.
Yeah, that is so hugely valuable.
Yeah and then as I’ve evolved this business over the years, I guess my super power is also how to teach that because that doesn’t really necessarily come naturally. I don’t think a lot of people naturally know how to listen deeply. So I’ve gotten really good at being able to actually to teach it and then also I’ll just mention one last thing. I’ve always had a big vision. I always have either for the world, or my own life, and it really comes from a passion to make a difference in the world and I think what I realized in starting this business is the difference I wanna make is to help people reach their deepest capacity to give and receive love.
Yeah. Yeah, that’s so hugely important and needed and I think no matter how much work we have been doing on this path, we can always grow that capacity.
Oh absolutely, yeah.
Yeah. I don’t think it has a limit to that container.
No. It doesn’t.
So thank you so much for doing that work. You said you have a big vision, I don’t want to put you on the spot, but I always love hearing people’s big visions. So if you wanna share it you can, but you don’t have to.
Well no really. I mean it sounds so trite, but I really believe that when we can step into knowing how to love, give and receive love, I think it’s gonna be, it always sounds like I’m the flower child, you know or whatever, but really I’ve seen so many miracles happen with the singles and couples that I’ve worked with over the years in just being able to develop that, because a lot of times, we all have the capacity to do that, but we just have blocks in the way. So my job just is to remove the blocks so that people can actually tap into what they’ve been innately born capable of doing.
Yeah. I love it. You and I are definitely in the same page with our work in that. One of my favorite things about this show is just getting to interact with all of the other beautiful people out there on the planet who are doing this work because it’s like all hands on deck moment right now.
So one person can’t reach everyone on the planet, so I just I love getting to meet and interact with more and more of us and I’m not afraid of saying I have a vision of world peace for the world, because I totally, I’m with you on like if we can really dial that in, on how to be with one another in a loving way, how to give and receive love, we can have a peaceful society and it starts in our homes and it starts in our relationships.
Yes I agree. Totally.
So, just to give a taste before we go to break, because we are gonna be talking about transforming triggers in relationships today, where do you usually start with say a couple comes to you and they’re really at odds, what’s your starting point?
Okay, so the actual, I actually developed a workshop to deal with getting emotionally triggered but I think the question you’re asking more is just if a couple is just, they can’t see eye to eye and that involves getting emotionally triggered, but it’s more than that. It’s also just not understanding and not having developed some kind of a conflict between each other. So often what I do is I start with developing what I guess the best term for it is just a vision. So that they realize there’s hope. So they’re not just going, “Oh this is hopeless. We’re always gonna be fighting,” or “We’re always gonna be avoiding each other,” or whatever is going on. So it’s like what do you really want? So I usually start there so that they start going, “Wow, maybe there really is something here that we could develop and maybe I can be quiet for once,” or whatever the pattern is that’s going on. Then from there I start gently going into helping them truly hear one another, even if they’re not agreeing with each other or whatever. So I usually start there and I’m a communications specialist so I weave that in and I gently start to help them practice some of the communication skills that I teach in their relating with one another. I could go on, but I’m gonna pause because there’s so much to cover here.
Totally and I, when we get back from break I really want, just for our listeners, I wanna hear you flesh out the difference between not seeing eye to eye and getting emotionally triggered, because I think there’s some nuance in there that could be fun to dive into, but we do have to go to a break and before we go, will you just tell our listeners where they can find out more about you and your work?
Oh yeah, thank you. So I actually have two sites. I have kimvonberg.com and that one I’m trying to primarily have all my services for couples and then thrivinglovingrelationships.com. I am dedicating more to my services for singles to help them do whatever healing, I do a lot of emotional healing work with singles to help them get to a place of being able to attract really healthy people into their lives and break the patterns, maybe negative patterns, that have been happening in the past. So it’s kimvonberg.com and thrivinglovingrelationships.com.
Beautiful. So we’ve been talking with Kim Von Berg about transforming our triggers in a relationship. More when we get back. Stay tuned.