The Queen Power Era

A new era, the Queen power era, is moving forward. “Moving” may be too kind. A new era is rushing, no flooding, no – surg-peding forward. Yes, thats it, precisely, a herd of elephants led by a tsunami…a very apt description.

Most women I know walk around these days with a look of utter shock and bewilderment on their faces. They continue to perform their womanly, motherly partner-ly duties, but the feeling of being sucked up into a cyclone of chance and perpetual growth seems rampant.

Why? What’s going on that has so many of us reeling?

Well, not surprisingly, I have a theory. And my theory is this: the era of woman as the weaker sex truly is coming to an end. I know, I know, this isn’t an original theory, but stick with me on this. Oh, and I realize that the women’s rights movement started lifetimes ago, but this is…different. No doubt this latest version of the plight stands on the foundation of burnt bras and roars not silenced, but it’s ours now. And ours looks and feels like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

The best way I’ve been able to wrap my mind around this very real but intangible time is to phrase it in a way I can connect with. I love all of the conversations about the divine feminine and goddess energy and true equal partnerships coming forward, but I need something strong to cling to like a life raft in turbulent, white-knuckled-inducing, crushing waves of “spiritual growth opportunities” or, as I like to say, “Holy !%&$, here comes another one!”

So the imagery I’ve identified with lately is Queen Power or the archetype of the Queen. I spoke to one of my dear friends and mentors, Dr. David Gruder, who happens to be a fantastic psychologist and archetypal genius, about some of the weird energy I’d been experiencing. I explained to him that I felt like I was being torn between my CEO/entrepreneur mentality and my mother/wife roles.

I knew how to be a businesswoman and professional from my pre-marital days as an instructor, soldier, federal agent and entrepreneur and I knew how to be a wife and mother (well, mostly, I still felt like a court jester playing a role most of the time, but I was getting there). But what I couldn’t wrap my overly analytical mind around was…how do I be both? How do I channel my inner CEO while attending to my two year-old? I believed it could be done and argued with anyone who told me otherwise…but how?

Throughout the course of our conversation he said the most profound thing that will remain with me forever. He said, “Tonya, you were trained to be a king, not a queen.”

WOW!

In that moment I saw bright white light and heard angels sing, “Aaaaahhhh.” The gates of recognition opened and my mind eagerly clung to his archetypal offering like a starving woman grasping crumbs. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” My mind screamed, “That’s it!” It made total sense.

You see the King archetype works in certain arenas and definitely allows us to insert ourselves in situations where most feminine roles will not. I used it as a soldier, as an agent, as an entrepreneur, and even as a college instructor. It worked because it allowed me to navigate extremely masculine environments with ease. I used it to look with disdain at anything feminine and, what I deemed, weak.

I remember back in my single days, having a conversation with a girlfriend of mine (a scientist, a logical-minded woman I could relate with, of course) who had known me since the fifth grade. I called her to help me sort through a situation involving a man, to help me wrap my mind around my choices. I remember asking her, “Am I responding to this situation like a woman? I don’t want to be ‘girly’ about this.” She told me, “Tonya, you are so far from ‘girly’ even if you did try to respond like a woman you would never make it.” I felt relieved. I took her words as a compliment.

And that was the energy I took into wifehood and motherhood. But all of that changed as my heart opened and my husband and I fumbled through developing our relationship roles and my daughter redefined every priority I ever held with a cute little flip of her chubby little wrist. King Tonya crawled inside and remained silent for two years, until…

Pendulums swing as pendulums do until they settle into stasis. Somehow, someway, the chasm between King and Wife/Mom eventually would require attention, my attention specifically. When that day came I felt impotent in my ability to finesse a compromise. For a period of months I felt the battle raging inside of me like tag team wrestlers slapping hands coming and going out of the ring. The two entities never played well together and I felt as though the essence of who I was lay trapped inside this crazed Two Face character (think Tommy Lee Jones).

Something had to give.

And in walked the magic pill. In walked my mentor with this extremely profound, yet highly poignant mental imagery I was able to grasp. I could list tons of reasons why I gravitated toward the King energy even at a young age, but what’s the point? It is what it is and, though it served me well previously, it no longer did. But, I didn’t have anything to replace it with until the Queen came along.

What Queen Power represents to me is pure intrinsic power. The Queen knows her role and plays it well. She can be mother and CEO simultaneously because she knows how to hold those energies and blend the best of them to create magic. She has the composure to deal with difficult situations with grace, but acknowledges her very real, feminine side in way that empowers her. For some women, she is the ultimate integration of masculine and feminine energy. Not all women resonate with her, but I sure do. She reminds me to stay centered, serve others AND myself, and gently juggle the many different environments in which I play with the same careful blend of control and freedom.

She is the sovereign who resides within me and when she sits on her throne, everything makes sense. There is no need to control situations or fight to change them. She allows the world to unfold as it will and inserts herself when response is necessary. She invites others to exist in their greatness – everyone – men, children, and especially, other women. She serves as a model of what truly held, spiritually owned, lovingly touched power looks like.

She is Queen and she is who we need now, more than ever. The surg-peding forces crashing over us call for us to step into our roles as women and mothers who stand tall with authority flavored only with love and compassion. Our families need us, our communities need us…the world needs us.

I urge you to look deep within and find the imagery that speaks to you as a woman – the one begging you to let her out and share her with the world. Whether she’s Queen, Goddess, Healer or Diva, invite her into your life as a lead character. With her stepping up, you’ll find the overwhelming needs to everyone and everything around you slowly resolve themselves. The frantic urge you feel to run away from it all dissipates as you realize, and assume, your place on the throne. The “trouble” people in your life suddenly morph into respecting, loving creatures who honor your greatness, or they just fade away.

It’s magical, it’s powerful, it’s time and it’s ours. This is the call you feel to be…you.

Join us.