In this episode we talk about making database decisions and managing emotions in order to be successful. Jeremy Ryan Slate shares his perspective after interviewing successful business owners about what it takes to succeed in life and business.

Hello! This is Tonya Dawn Recla, your Super Power Expert, and I am excited to have with me today Jeremy Slate. This guy is quite the package here from Oxford University and Seton Hall University to having a podcast the, Create Your Own Life podcast. This guy you know in the short time that I’ve known him, his mission here is to get that information out to the world, show entrepreneurs that you really can do the things on your own terms and be successful at it. So, I’m really excited to have him on the show and have him talk about his superpowers for all of you so I’m gonna bring him on now. Jeremy, thanks for joining us.

Hey Tonya, thanks for having me and I’m really excited to help your audience get moving forward.

Very cool as are they I’m sure, so we’d like to throw you right in to the mix and ask, what are your superpowers?

Making database decisions

My superpowers are pulling emotions out of things and purely looking at the data to help myself make a decision because I think that was a lot of times when I kinda got sucked in especially when I was newer to business is we tend to buy into the emotion of what’s happening and make a lot of decisions based on how we’re feeling rather than you know, what we observe, because I think a lot of times we tend to pull out emotions into it and tend to make really bad decisions and after the fact we regret them, so I’ve become really good at pulling the emotions out of decision making and making database decisions.

Oh, I love that you talk about that, you know you and I spoke which is very briefly about the Clear Business Directory and in that whole business, when we started that business we spend a lot of time educating particular entrepreneurs about the value of doing what we call, “The Mechanical Due Diligence” so making sure that you are operating from a detached perspective and taking that emotion out. We tell people move beyond the, “I love you, you love me” conversation. Right. So, I love that you are addressing that, that’s powerful.

And let me tell you, I made a lot of poor decisions early on, on my business journey by basing it on how I was feeling and those are really short sided decisions and so as when you learn how to do that, that you can really do some amazing things for yourself.

So, does that come from the fact that we tend to do that or most people tend to do that in their personal life and they just don’t change the method with business or, where do you think that comes from?

You know, I think it’s a little bit of that but I also think we’re raised with a lot of like bad information, you know what I mean like how you’re supposed to make decisions so we observe how our parents do things, how our friends do things and we base a lot on how we react to things you know, what they do and I think it’s important to learn that you can’t always control the situation but you can control on how you react to it and I think learning how to react to it is just yourself and not somebody else is a big deal because you know, I got into teaching because you know, my parents wanted to be teachers and I think a lot of times we make decisions because we’re either, making it “as someone else or for someone else” and I think we have to learn how to make that for ourselves and it does help you bigtime to pull the real emotion out of it and actually make a clear cut decision.

I love that, you’re absolutely talking our language because again I’ll take it even a step further because the biggest challenge I see is that most people don’t even know who they are, and so the idea of making decisions for yourself you know, depending on where some of our clients are sitting, a lot of time I hear myself advising them you know, “Question everything” like, “Do you even like chocolate ice cream? Or do you even go to the movies?” like, how do you know if you haven’t even asked, where does that information come from, our subconscious stores so much information that really puts us on this kinda autopilot and most people never stop to wonder you know, why and where it came from.

Yeah and I think a lot of times that’s where it comes back to your whole idea of your own truth, you know what I mean? If someone else tells me something that’s great and if I don’t first hand observe it, see it, feel it, experience it, it’s very difficult for me to have an opinion of that because I’m just inheriting someone else’ opinion.

Oh wow, that we can talk for eons about that. So how do your work with people on this, do you work one on one with them? What’s you’re ideal kinda of work there?

In terms of helping people with what I was just talking about or?

You know, on helping people with their business and moving entrepreneurs into places.

More or less I do that through the interview you know what I mean, I interview successful entrepreneurs and see what they’ve done and then

I interview successful entrepreneurs and see what they’ve done.

try to really get down to the bottom of what made them successful because I think a lot of times people are in a certain spot like probably a lot of your audience are, and they think nobody in the world has experienced life like them or experienced what’s happening like what they’re experiencing but it turns out a lot of very successful people have been there and I think it’s kinda cool to see what their experience is like to pull that out of that and you know, it’s more of a second hand experience in that way though my own story have been numerous different places that really helped me to get some of that firsthand experience as well.

Very cool! I think it’s so powerful that you’re talking about things like that, so how did you, so you mentioned you know, doing the teaching things, so how did you transition into really looking at what works for business’ and what doesn’t?

Really from firsthand experience on myself, I went right at, at teaching full time in the network marketing and ran a fitness company at the same time and I learned right away that, “Having your purpose divided is a big thing to keep you from actually succeeding, when your attention becomes divided you don’t have a goal that goes towards one direction” and actually through my journey has showed me that if I’m going to be successful at one thing, I have to focus on that one thing, become obsessed on being successful on that single thing and that is the big difference, because I think a lot of times we have so many things vying for our attention especially when we start to be successful at something, a lot of people wants things from us, a lot of people want us to work with them on certain things and you have to really look at that for you know, “What is my purpose for what I’m doing, Why am I doing it and realize if that aligns with your purpose and if it doesn’t, you’re gonna get pulled off of it” and that’s kinda one of the big things that I’ve learned through my experience and I’m seeing a lot of business people that I’ve dealt with, they tend to get their attention divided get pulled off purpose and that’s kinda the end of it for them.

Oh wow, we had such a similar experience, there was a period of about 2 years really early on when I refused to talk to anybody about our business like about the model or ask for assistance or anything because what happened in the very beginning was exactly what you’re talking about and it’s like, if you’re not focused and if don’t have like piercing clarity on what you’re doing, it’s easy to get distracted like you know, the shiny objects. To do all of that and what I’ve found was we would speak to really well-meaning people and they would give us their advice but of course when you don’t have clarity, all people can do is to give you advice from their perspective in what they’ve done or what they’ve experienced and it’s easy to kinda get pulled off trajectory and so we got super like selfish about who we let in and who we sought advice from until we have that clarity and I swear it made all the difference but it was a hard lesson to learn.

Well into that point to I just interviewed a 22 year old gentleman today that has a very successful marketing company and he said one of the big things that he’s learned and he actually got started in business at 16, he learned that, “You don’t take advice from anyone that hasn’t been successful at what you want to be successful at” because we tend to take advice from mom and dad, from our friends, from other people and they haven’t been successful with that thing that we wanna be successful at then we wonder why, when we apply that we don’t have success ourselves and I think that’s a great piece of advice, simple as it is.

Well I’ll take it a step further in the realms that we operate in and I advise people like to be really cautious about only taking advice from people who are sitting vibrationally in the place that you wanna go because material success you know, that someone appears that you know achieved  or actually achieved it or just are really good at putting on that show, but that material success is something that you know, just because somebody else wheeled in a particular tool well and made money off of it, that doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily going to but if you’ll look at where people are ahead of revolution wise in terms of the life that you want and where you’re sitting and all these other things, then that’s a valuable place to kinda get clean information from and in too often we looked at people who maybe you know, maybe they did a successful business 20 years ago well you know, well the landscape changes you know, and there are certainly lessons learned that you can pull from but you know, the world changes, marketing changes, all these aspects are different and we see that being a problem very frequently.

Yeah definitely, I think that’s a big deal especially with the way things are going digital right now, it’s completely change the field of marketing and a lot of older businesses are having trouble even keeping up with that because the old methods they tried just don’t work anymore you know, social media is not advertising, I think there’s a lot of people haven’t quite understood.

It’s so funny coz I might immediately goes to, we had the same issue in the espionage arena because when the cold world war kinda stopped, it took quite a while for the government to realize like that those tactics that were established during that time frame don’t apply to the kind of the landscape now so, it’s not just business that suffers that it’s like you know, being agile and able to pivot is essential. I think overall now regardless of industry, someday we can talk about helping the government out next with that.

Right! Well into that point to not to get you far off the purpose here, but I have a couple of very good friends that deal with a lot of Russian businesses coming to America now that you’ve mentioned the cold war and they’re actually having trouble culturally getting things moving here because it’s just not the same as the economy after the cold war.

No it’s not it’s so classy and I actually think that we’re totally on point with that conversation because part of it is realizing that we, world’s changing you know, we created this kind of global community but there are implications, there are growing pains, there are adjustments and that’s across the board so I think it’s perfect that you bring that up because it’s easy for us to get kinda caught up in our own little world view and forget that people see things differently in the evolution work that we do here Superpower Experts and the Transformational Work it’s we forget that truth looks differently depending on where you’re sitting and a lot of times we won’t hold to our own conviction like we talked about you know, your truth like who you are, making decisions from your place, a lot of times we want to make everybody else wrong in order to justify you know our position and there’s real value in accepting that there’s just own perspective, there’s different ways of looking at things when you’re talking about frequencies and vibrations or business. There’s real value in allowing space for that.

Totally!

I love it! So, do you feel like you’re here to change the world? Is that a thing that you kinda abide by?

I do actually and it’s funny because my wife and I had a discussion about this and I was like you know, “I wanna have this enormous media network” and she’s like, “Okay but that’s been done before you know there’s iTunes” and I’m like, “That’s great but I wanna be bigger than iTunes”.  Because the thing is like, as big as you can get and as successful as you can get, the more people you can help, you know what I mean? I think that’s what I’ve learned by interviewing a lot of successful people is, it’s the whole idea of the airplane, they tell you put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on the person next to you because if you pass out you can’t help them and that’s the whole idea is like, “I want success because it’s cool and it’s fun but also because I can help other people” and that’s really big you know that I mean? And I think that’s where a lot of people have difficulty coming from that altruistic view plan when you and I were talking about a little bit in the pre-show about people feeling threatened by other people’s success and I think that’s one of the biggest things that’s helped me is you know, I’ve always been self-determined at what I want to do you know things that I want to do for myself and my purposes but I think a lot of people have trouble becoming pan-determined like I have like, if I wanna help everybody in the podcasting and the media space, it doesn’t threaten me because a rising tide lifts all ships. If I help everybody, the space looks better, the people in the space look better and you know that’s why I’ve been able to get a lot great things from networking is because I’m always looking to help in that way and I don’t feel threatened by other people’s success.

Absolutely! It’s so close just talking about that at a couple of meetings even today and yesterday it seems to be that this is the topic for sure coz it was, and you know those people, this is what’s so interesting, so my new latest it’s like a business bible right now is, “The Tribal Leadership Book” and they talk about it in there you know, I should buy stock with them if they have it, but it’s you know, what’s so powerful about what they talk about when they started the book was reaching out to specific people and they could really tell where people were sitting because the ones who were like, “What’s in it for me, What do you want from me” and all these other things you know, they’re sitting in that kinda self-determining space and I loved when you said, pan-determined that’s perfect and you’d know those people it’s like, “Yeah cool I’ll talk to you this feels right” like let’s see where this goes and it sounds like an important topic we should probably hash it out or what other case maybe or even just agreeing to come on a crazy show about superpowers it’s like, cool you just know, you have that sense about, this is a great way to get more information out and you know I think that sometimes we stop ourselves where I see these amazing amazing people stop themselves because they think that it’s ego you know like you kinda touched on is that, “Yes you wanna be successful, yes you need to be known for all these things” but that’s not how I view it, I view it as most people, those who were kinda the pioneers or busting through some walls right now have to be known for being disruptors or for being divergent in some fashion before people will even catch on to the idea of whatever it is that they’re propagating and to me that’s all tied up in this willingness to just even sit down and have a conversation and say, “Oh what are you doing, oh cool what are you doing” and there’s always ways to connect and ways to assist and there’s always synergies that developed when you come in to it from that vantage point.

Well I think too, there’s a little bit of fear that plays in that as well because people are so afraid that each decision their making is their survival you know that I mean? And it’s, especially a lot of new entrepreneurs they make decisions based on, “I need to make it till next week” rather than, “What is this gonna do for me 6 months from now?” and I get that it’s a super hard balance but it’s a balance that you have to learn to make because if you’re not thinking in future besides the right now, you’re not gonna make it.

So, powerful that you’ve said that we talk a lot about planting seeds and the idea that this whole concept to being an entrepreneur or, and it’s not just entrepreneurs it’s also those that are just really interested in kind of that personal development journey. Is it really a process of farming vs fishing you now, and you can do both, sometimes you have to do both but I mean I know we get referrals and contacts all over the place from years ago like it could be somebody we’ve connected like 5 years ago it’s like, “Oh I told someone about you or whatever” and the good thing is how are you showing up, are you showing up in a way that feels good to people and if you can help people feel good when you connect with them they’ll remember you, you know they keep that in their minds and when you’re in that wholeness kind of self-confidence space, that’s even better. They’re going to remember what you’ve said to them and they’re going to file that away for future but you’re right that it switches the story into the beingness piece you know, how are you showing up as opposed to what are you immediately doing right this second to.

Exactly!

So, it’s interesting to me, so do you meet a lot of folks like you interviewed a lot of folks, would you say that the majority of the people that you interviewed in their success however you define that are sitting in that space or what we call that collaborative space and willingness to kinda work with others and do that farming.

A hundred percent, and I’ll tell what for coming from my own experience of you know, having my own business in the fitness business, being in the network marketing business, selling life insurance before I started my own company and my life now where we do media, the biggest thing and the most difficult mind shift for someone to make but then I’ve noticed a lot of these entrepreneurs is shifting from that place of, “I need to survive” to “How can I help”. And I think that is the biggest thing and the single thing that binds all of these people that I’ve interviewed you know, I’ve interviewed artists, musicians and they all come at it from the place of you know, “The shift”. You know I interviewed one of my favorite musicians, a guy named, Matisyahu, who’s a reggae singer and he said that he doesn’t look at the crowd for the first few minutes of his performance because he doesn’t feel like he can be the person that he needs to be for them yet. He has to kinda get in that place of giving them that value and I think it’s funny because I’ve interviewed people from all over the place professional athletes, business people, like I said musicians and they all have that single binding factor.

I’m really really really pleased to hear you say that because that’s been kinda my biased and that’s where I operate from but that’s just selfishness like I just like to play with people like I’m very open about once the Due Diligence Business was up and going and it’s you know systemized and everything the superpower experts thing was just pure selfishness because I just wanted more people to play with you know, Right! It’s like, “Okay, I’m not finding them necessary out there in the world, let’s create a space where to gather” you know. Right no totally! So that’s been my biased is that even our mantra here is like you know turning personal power into superpower and you can only take personal power so far like especially in business like there is a limit to what you can do by yourself and that’s what the solopreneur  journey kinda teaches people like you know most people end up just creating jobs for themselves there really is a limit time wise, effort wise, energy wise that you can do alone and I agree with you I think there is a huge chasm between that space and leaping into where you learn how to really work with other people.

Empower other people.

Well and its funny coz I wrote an article about that and I think it’s gonna offend some people but I don’t think solopreneurs are entrepreneurs because all you’re dealing is creating another job and entrepreneur is a person that’s able to empower other people with their vision you know, put the right people in place, they know they’re not good at everything that’s why they find the right people to do certain things. You know, solopreneurs are usually doing everything and it’s, I’ll be honest with you that’s been one of my biggest struggle is being able to empower other people but if you wanna grow big, that’s something that you have to learn to be able to do is to empower other people.

Well absolutely, that’s a big part of the reason why, when we came out of government we were gonna do corporate training you know, we just figured the government paid so much money to train us in certain things that we would impart that in the business world and it was really other businesses that kept coming to us, asking us to do for them what we had done in government and we’re like, “No we don’t do that” like we should see it when we see the connection and what we’ve realized was exactly what you’re talking about is a big part of the reason why the solopreneurs don’t enter into that space is all of the horror stories everything that everybody hears about what goes wrong when you work with people and so from that leg of things, we started off creating a process so people can be relatively certain that the people that they’re getting involved with are who they say they are and can do what they say they can do to help mitigate some of that risk and then what was interesting is what came out of that I ended up doing a lot of individual coaching which was never on my trajectory because people weren’t making the decision, they weren’t moving into that space because of fear like you talked about. Yeah! And it was like they would come to us and I’m like, “You don’t need due diligence, you need help” like, “You need some confidence, you need some self-esteem” like we need to figure out what is the fear about, why aren’t you willing to move in to this space and so it was fascinating to me that it was all part of the same kind of issue and there’s many different solutions to it and but I agree with hundred percent and even in this business, I would say still in its infancy and even in its short time we’ve gone through like a partnership break-up and experts have come and gone and you know and it’s really being able to still do it you know, even though it didn’t work perfectly the first time you know, you learned your lesson and you moved on. I would much rather work with somebody who feels like they failed a few times at business.

It’s the persistence you know what I mean, that’s the big key, it’s the persistence.

Oh, that’s perfect! Well and so, I don’t know if you’re like me, do you sit and ask yourself like why you, like why do you get this stuff and many many people don’t, do you have that conversation with yourself?

You know I think I used to but I don’t really do that anymore coz it’s more or less I just look at things for what they are.

So, when you had that conversation, what was it about your life, how it unfolded or how you created it that led you to this place?

It’s more or less acting on other people wouldn’t you know what I mean? I think that’s been one of the biggest things coz a lot of people get paralyzed and you know for example today, I’m doing work for a client and I had an outcome that I didn’t really like and I put my head down and kept going and I think a lot of people would say, “Alright well days over” and I kinda realized that you have to push yourself to that place you know what, now I’m on a show with you and I feel great so it’s just a matter of pushing yourself to that because you know, it’s funny coz I have an article comin’ out for “Addicted to Success” next week about this and its, this whole thing as an entrepreneur that will have 10 beautifully successful things in the day and we have 1 negative thing happen right and it’s not even that bad but we tend to focus on that thing and we feel like, “Man I’m such a loser” and I think it’s you know, taking the wins and you know, remembering them and putting them out there and it’s best to just forget them very quickly and learning from them what you can and that’s about it.

Well that’s totally counted to what we’re thought and we address that in our circles you know just telling people you know, feed what you wanna feed but recognize it if you focus on the negative you know then that’s what you get more of and the challenge from us is people that feels irresponsible to ignore it coz we’re trained, I mean look at our medical industry look at you know schooling all of them, they’re some sort of preventative like you have to call it out, you have to look at it, you have to dissect it if there’s a problem you know, all these things and it’s like sometimes you can just choose to ignore it and it’s fine but by putting your attention on it, it actually makes it worst but there’s an art I think to that to being able to determine when you really have to address something and when it’s just a fear that’s trying to get your attention.

Totally. You know it’s results go where attention flows and I think people don’t even realize that you know.

Well it’s discipline, I mean that again that most people don’t see that affirm in their existence you know.

Right!

I mean look at just what is perpetuated in our society and it’s typically the most negative thing anybody can find and that’s what we focus on I mean I got very sensitive to then started observing people’s conversations and how people communicate and what they choose to say about what’s going on in their existence and I love what you just got saying that you could have just easily you know, dropped in the lower frequency but the challenge just creates the rest of your day.

Well and thing about that too is negative people don’t last long in my space because I value my connections my space and everything going on around me so if you’re not adding to it, you’re gone.

Absolutely, and that leaves itself into a lot of other fears of some folks about letting people go you know, coz sometimes it’s family sometimes it’s close friends and family that really are the ones perpetrating energy and stuff in your space that isn’t serving you, you know we’re not trained to think that, that’s okay and so I do see a detachment piece from, you know all the things that we should have you know, blood is thicker than water and all of these kinds of ideas that what loyalty looks like again and where we should be focusing our attention. It’s easy to miss I think have that impedes things.

Well I think to if I patent observe that in my own life I wouldn’t have been able to pull or detach myself off like that, when I first started my network marketing business I don’t do it anymore but when I started, my cousin who is my best friend looked at my life and I just wanted him to look at the business and didn’t care and I just wanted to acknowledge, “Hey that’s pretty cool man whatever” but he looked at my life and said, “I know what you’re doing and I’m gonna do whatever I have to do to see you fail” Once you see somebody say that you’re pretty much are looking at other people in a different way and really guarding your space.

Interesting, yeah that will do it.

Yup!

But what a gift he gave you I mean we I train people.

I value that moment!

Yeah, I train people look at everybody in their life like avatars like everybody is an avatar in your little game and then if you, you know if you’re getting that kind of feedback you know, if you take a second and look within and that’s exactly what you did and you were like, you could have let that completely break you and you would have totally justified it.

Well it did for about 10 minutes but that was about it!

You’re like, “Okay I’m done”!

Exactly!

Well very cool and I’m enjoying the conversation and I don’t even know we’re completely off trajectory but I think it’s perfect so we’ll just keep going but I do wanna ask you, you know in respect of your time, I wanna ask you if there is a story that wanna share with our listeners about, you’ve shared some already if there’s another story that you what in accordance our “Live in your Power” kinda segment of the time that you just got that intuitive hit or that inner knowingness to do something and you took action and what transpired because of it.

Let me kinda tell you a quick story on that, it’s kinda of a combination of two things. When I was 19 years old I had a tor 3 major league was my name I thought it was going backwards playing football and I had what was supposed to be a minor surgery like half an hour to do it. The anesthesia I had an allergic reaction and I spent 3 days in the hospital and the priest gave my last rights and that situation didn’t affect me I didn’t change I didn’t do anything and a lot of people I think would have changed them, for me I think it didn’t change me, it didn’t make me do something different and then when I was 24 years old, my mom had a massive stroke, lost full use of the right side of her body and her language skills and she can’t work anymore and then I finally changed, I finally decided well this is how fragile life is, you really have to live life for everything that’s worth and you know most people don’t get 2 chances you know, I got 2 to decide to make a difference because I had decided at that point that I definitely wasn’t getting a third chance so I think it thought me the value of life.

Absolutely, I think that that’s huge and so usually I close out with that question but it struck me as you were talking, how did you connect with your wife? You say that you and your wife are in business around that, does she share similar philosophies?

Yeah we’re very much the same, it’s interesting but in a way the we can, you know we’re a little bit different so we get along well but if you’re the same you don’t but we share very much the same philosophies and I think that’s one of the big reasons that we don’t argue because we know that we’re both allowed to be brutally honest with each other and it’s not the point of offending the other person, it’s basically telling them, “Hey I don’t like that handle it” and I think because we’re so open about that it’s been a big deal about how we get along.

Very cool well kudos to you and I know a lot of people in the entrepreneur world have nothing more than to do it with their partner which is what my husband and I model also and so I love seeing more and more examples of that happening, I think it’s cool.

Awesome!

So very cool, well Jeremy, where can people go to find out more about you?

Best place is over at jeremyryanslate.com they can find my podcast and everything’s link up over there.

Well very cool well Jeremy, Jeremy Ryan, thank you so much for joining us on this show, I really really appreciate it, it’s been delightful, I love your energy and I’m excited for you and mostly I just like knowing you out there doing good thing in the world and that’s pretty cool.

Well thank you so much for having me, I hope your audience got a lot out of this.

Oh, I’m sure they did and to all of you out there, as always, thank you so much for your loyalty we appreciate it and until next time, go out, uncover your superpowers and change the world. Take care.