Have you been longing to experience your best relationship yet, but you keep ending up in the same old patterns? Are you struggling with how to navigate pursuit and express desire and interest in the post #MeToo era? In this heart-centered conversation, SLSP host Tatiana Berindei and relationship coach extraordinaire Bernardo Mendez go in-depth about how to attract the relationship of your dreams without compromising yourself or coming off as a creep. They discuss what the key characteristics of a true loving relationship are and how to manage expectations, as well as some of the most common obstacles to getting what you want in a relationship and how to move through them. If you are ready for your best relationship yet, you want to tune in to this episode today!

Hello everyone and welcome to the Sex, Love and SuperPowers Podcast Show. I’m your host, Tatiana Berindei, and today my guest is Bernardo Mendez. We are going to be discussing attracting your best relationship.

Let me tell you a little bit about Bern before we get started. Bern Mendez is a relationship and dating expert with over 10 years of experience. He’s mentored by Tony Robbins and certified as a Strategic Intervention Life coach. Bern has personally helped hundreds of women around the world to overcome emotional challenges and find commitment-minded men in record time. With over 18 million views and 145,000 subscribers, his YouTube channel now reaches over 325,000 women each month.

His work has been featured on Red Book, CNN Money, NBC, CBS, ABC, HuffPost Live, Yahoo, Shine, MindBodyGreen, and Blog Talk Radio among others. He’s a regular relationship advice contributor to Univision TV’s morning show Despierta Austin. 

Welcome to the show.

Thank you so much, Tatiana. I feel so blessed and honored to be here. Thank you for that prayer that you just shared before we started. I’m so touched. I’m emotional as we started this conversation. Thank you for having me here. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, it’s so lovely to have you. Before we dive into our topic today, will you tell our listeners what your superpowers are?

Okay. I would say a couple of superpowers. The first one would be seeing with my heart and seeing what that means to me in the specific line of work that I do, being able to witness that space where someone’s at and vibration, if you want to call it, the radiance, the closeness, the combination of things that make that human being shine in a specific way. 

Second one would be the superpower of helping that person close the gap between the vibration she’s at and the vibration she needs to be at to find her best self-first and her radiance and her light, and then create a connection with someone who’s just as amazing with a counterpart energy that would make her feel happy to be here.

Beautiful. I rather tell you, I can feel your heart, and I can feel your sincerity and just the beauty of your soul. It emanates from you.

I can feel yours too, so it’s a mutual thing.

I decided to start sharing my message and 95% of the human beings who listened to my message were women.

I also want to be like 100% honest when I first came across you and your work. My first question that came up was, why women? Like why is a man focused on working with women? Because like I said, I’ll be honest, for me there’s like a little bit of almost red flag or just like “Hmm. Just because there’s been so much mess in that arena between men and women and with the #MeToo movement?” And especially, I think men are in power. Men in positions of power guiding women. There’s a lot that can happen now. Like I said, I feel you. I feel your heart. I feel your soul. I can say, “My gut is telling me.” That’s not the place that you’re coming from and yet, I am so curious why you’re working with women in particular.

Okay. There are different parts to the answer. I don’t know how much time I have for this one.

I know. I just sprang like a really big question on you, but it was the first one that I had.

No, I get it. I mean, it’s a logical question. That was the first question my wife asked me when I started taking his work. It’s not just like you, but here’s the way I see it. There are multiple aspects of it. The more logistical one, the most recent was when I first decided to do what I’m doing right now, which is at the highest level, not in the specific helping human beings find themselves and get the life that they want, which is a bigger thing of helping a woman find love. I decided to start sharing my message and 95% of the human beings who listened to my message were women. I didn’t choose it that way. It’s just the way it worked.

When I started doing these videos initially many, many years ago, I found out that I started having conversations because I wanted to find out. If eventually this will turn into a business, I want to share this. I’m not even sure how I’ll monetize this. I want to figure out what the problem is, how can I close the gap. I worked informally with people for many years doing interventions. That’s where somebody is going through maybe, I don’t know, suicide attempt and help that person never attempt to do it again in a short amount of time, or someone who has gone through maybe food issues and self-image issues, him or her, men and women, helping them to resolve that once and for all. Having done those things, I was figuring out what’s the next thing.

The common thread that I found among many, many dozens at that point of women that I have conversations with was at some form of another either a relationship that was not working or lack of a relationship. I said, “Okay, well, can I use the same skills that I’ve used to help people to end their pain for this specific situation that I’m finding so prevalent?” I started just attempting to do it. Now, when I go deeper as to why, like if I really go deep and I analyze myself, for the longest time when I was 16, 17, 18. But I was really depressed and part of my depression came from not being able to connect with women. Having a big heart and being able to feel like I could add so much value and being rejected left and right, 20 times a day.

The honest part of the answer would be there’s a wound that never closes on human beings sometimes and part of the healing of my wound is doing okay.

The honest part of the answer would be there’s a wound that never closes on human beings sometimes and part of the healing of my wound is doing okay. Well, I can help women in a way that I can connect women in a way that I could never have connected before, but I’m going to use it for good. Because I mean, you could use this to manipulate, you could use this to have 10 mistresses, I guess. If you can use this for a higher good, then I think there’s something to it. Now, I recently thought about, well, there’s potential for me to help men in other ways because I have so much information and so much practical awareness of what works, what doesn’t work.

I feel that at this stage of my life, it’s more exciting to work with women and it feels more fulfilling, but it’s not to say that I’m not open to working with guys in the future. Now, the last part of the answer, I know it’s a super long answer, is I do work with men indirectly. That means when I help someone who’s never had a guy show up the right way, to show up for herself like she never has, and now the guy that was showing up half-assedly shows up stronger as a result of her stance. I’m training here indirectly because she’s showing up stronger. When I worked with women and now they’re married and they get an amazing guy who connects with them, there’s relationship skills that they carry into the relationship that they didn’t have before.

Nobody taught them that thing at school. Their parents didn’t teach them that thing. Their friends didn’t teach them that. Now the guy is benefiting of a better level of communication from what she learned. That’s my long winded answer as to how this happened.

Beautiful. Well, I love what you said about how you could use this power to manipulate, but you’ve decided to use it for good. We talk about that actually a lot at Super Power Experts about how our superpowers don’t really come online fully until we commit to using them for good. There are a lot of people out there who are sort of unconsciously wielding some real potent tools and they are using it to manipulate. I just want to thank you and like really honor you for not doing that and for leading with your heart and for helping so many people to find that which they are seeking. We do have to go to a quick break. I know that there’s a lot of really, really juicy information that you’re carrying that our listeners are going to want to hear.

Before we go to break, will you tell everyone where they can go to find out more about you and your work and what you’re offering?

Yeah, sure. There are a couple of places. The first one would be bernmendez.com. There’s a way for you to access a free class on how you can enter a relationship powerfully. Second place would be Work with Bern. If you’re interested in connecting and figuring out if we can do something together, that’s workwithbern.com.

Beautiful. We are talking with Bern Mendez about attracting your best relationship. We’re going to dive into some really, really good stuff when we get back, so stay tuned.

To listen to the entire show click on the player above or go to the SuperPower Up! podcast on iTunes.

Music Credit: All instruments played by Amanda Turk. Engineered and produced by Tatiana Berindei and Daniel Plane reelcello.com