Conscious growth was the theme for 2016. I don’t know about you but the entire year felt as though I ran a gauntlet like running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. My personal conscious catapulting led me down some pretty treacherous paths. Although the bulls were not physically running behind me, breathing down my neck, instilling the face of fear and death into me, every twist, turn, and curveball thrown at me felt like a damn horn being shoved into my side!

I began my “Journey of Truth” as I have been calling it, around November of 2015. I was questioning everything and wanted answers, little did I realize the journey I was about to take was going to drag my ass face first through the mud and make me face every damn fear, story, judgment, and thought I’ve ever had. I finally saw life without the veil, without the lies, without the stories, just as it is, pure and simple.

I began to re-live every pain, and story, I have had throughout my life, and FINALLY began to see the pattern, and how my thoughts and actions, and even reactions, are my own responsibility. I created the life I had and every experience in it. Talk about a smack in the face, right? There was no more playing the blame game, it was time to face myself and the little webs I wove of lies I told myself. It’s not easy taking responsibility for a string of broken relationships, and abusive marriage, friends that don’t call you anymore, not knowing who you are anymore, nor ending up in some job that is clearly not serving you, and moving back into your parents’ house.

So you may be asking…why did all of this happen in just one year? Some people take years to figure all of this out!

Reason #1

Probably a few reasons. One being that this is numerologically a “9” year, which basically means that you are being guided to finish old patterns, habits, jobs, ways of thinking and being, etc. And sometimes when we “miss the memo” from God, He’s gonna make us do it anyway. What does that mean? So maybe you’ve been feeling the itch to move, or buy a new car, or find a new job, but you didn’t do anything about it. When we do that and it’s a move that needs to happen for the next stage in our human evolution in this time and space, the Universe is going to make its move so you do it…that might look like your house burning down so now you have to buy a new house, or getting in a car accident and totaling your car so you have to buy a new car, or losing your current job to make space for the one you need next.

Reason #2

I’d say the second reason is because I chose to be completely open-minded to whatever and whomever came to me on this journey, as well as, being completely open to change, no matter what it was. Once I was able to release the shackles from my religious upbringing, my growth curve skyrocketed. I trusted and surrendered everything to God and let him guide me into the people that would help me remember who I really am, that it’s ok to have some fucked up things happen in your life, and that those “things” do not define who you are.

Reason #3

Third reason would be because I chose to do my work. I chose self-growth because I wanted freedom to be me, when I didn’t even know who “me” was anymore. I chose self-growth to the detriment of everything else in my life. I wanted to stop feeling like I was living a lie. Being on the other side of all of it now, I don’t even remember who I was a year ago. That person is gone. My new perspective on life is finding meaning in what is there, continuing to see the mirror for what needs to be shown and worked on, and living life as a mere experience instead of creating stories and lies in my head to protect myself out of fear. Now I look fear in the face, say to myself “Damnit, again!” (LOL), and keep pushing forward anyway.

Falling into Place

But why do I need to know all of this?

Because some of you may have been going through hell and not understanding why your world is “completely falling apart.” I’m offering you a new perspective. I’m offering you the option to be fully conscious of choice. What if your world is “completely falling into place?” Doesn’t that feel much better? You’re not the only one, everyone has been “finishing” something this year whether or not they were consciously aware of it like myself, or not. It’s a 9-year, it’s just how it works!

I know I was freaking out a bit because there are still a few things I know I have not “finished” working on and I didn’t want to have to take them with me through another 9-year numerological cycle again (which begins 2017 because it’s a “1” year). So, when connecting to Source and my guides, they told me that if we hold the intention to work on it and begin to explore whatever it is that we want to face, then we do not have to take it through the whole 9-year cycle. PHEW!!!

If there’s one thing I can pass on to you that I learned throughout this entire year, it is that your thoughts become things. Whatever you think about most, is what perpetuates and takes form. Your life is a direct reflection of your thoughts. Don’t like your life? Start by changing your thoughts. It takes time and patience with yourself because you’ve got to change the habits of your mind and become consciously aware of them. However, it only takes as long as you decide it does.