Kristine Rose Grant, an inspirational speaker and a licensed marriage and family therapist, joins Neva Lee Recla to discover the amazing power of friendship. Her broad, in-depth background lies within the realms of relationship coaching and family therapy, combined with her extraordinary ability to motivate others through humor and wisdom. She engages audiences with a sense of fun and enlightenment. Kristine also offers a unique Online Letter Writing Service otherwise known as “Inspired Heart Letters.” Listen in as she unfolds the reason behind her amazing power.
Hi kids. This is your Super Power Kid, Neva Lee Recla. And today we have on our show a very, very awesome guest. Kristine Grant. And we met at New Media Summit. And she’s the author of Be Friendship Focused, and she made the A to Z power card deck, and today we’re gonna be talking with Christine about The Amazing Power Of Friendship: How To Let Your Inner BFF Shine. Without further ado, will you help us welcome our very awesome guest, Kristine Grant.
Hi Neva. Hey is that Jaxon?
Wow, hi Jaxon. Thank you for having me on today, I’ve been looking forward to this for quite a while.
Yeah I’m super excited to have you. We are.
I know that you mentioned the Be Friendship Focused program, which is all about empowerment. And the A to Z power cards, I mean duh, that’s about empowerment too. And how those cards came about is my daughter and I did them together when she-
Yeah she was 12 and we just did all those little paintings together and came up with some of the words and the power behind the words. So yeah that was kind of a cool thing. One of the things … well what I talk about, what I help people with, no matter what age, is how to feel self-empowered. And sometimes some people that are not feeling very powerful try to grab your power from you. And people call it bullying, okay. And that’s all it is. They’re not more powerful than anyone else. In fact if you were to go inside a bully’s heart, you would see that they are very sad often or frustrated and they don’t feel like people really understand them or care.
How they feel.
Yeah. So that’s kind of where I come from is like, “Hey everybody can feel powerful right?”
Yeah. So I think Murphy has the first question for you. What are your super powers?
My super power is one of the best super powers I have is confidence. If you feel like you like yourself and you feel like no matter what someone might say about you or think about you or say to you, or the way they might treat you. If you really, really like yourself and accept yourself then you are confident. So that’s-
… one of the biggest powers I have is that it took me a while to grow that skill and that power because the powers have to grow. Can I tell you a story? About-
Okay. I worked in schools for many years. With children, students from all ages. From pre-school to high school. One of the most memorable days was when I was asked to check with a young boy, he was six-years-old, in the first grade and I’ll just call him Ben. And Ben was disliked by, not only the kids, but his teacher would roll her eyes when she would talk about him. Have you ever seen somebody do the eye roll thing?
And so I went to observe Ben in his classroom and you know what? He was kind of a terror. He was teasing the girls, he was playing practical jokes. He wasn’t being very respectful of the teacher. He was running around the classroom. He was kind of out of control. Then when recess came he was out of control there too. So I brought him into my office to talk to him. And I asked him, “So who is your friend?” And do you know what? Little Ben burst into tears. And he said, “I don’t have any friends. All the kids hate me. And I don’t know why because I really wanna have friends. And my mommy and daddy are so angry with me because I don’t get the good grades.” He wasn’t paying enough attention, obviously, in school.
So I told him, “I had five powers. And I had given three of them away already in my life. But I had two more powers. The power to change someone.” And he said, “Oh my gosh please can I have the power?” I said, “You know what Ben? I kind of like you. I see a glow inside of you. And I would love to give you one of my powers. Okay, stand up. Close your eyes. Start spinning around.” And I took my magic want out of the invisible world and said, “Twizzle twazzle twizzle,” and then I went, “Oh wait a second Ben, I forgot something. Before I can give you my power, you have to also earn it.” He said, “What do you mean,” I said, “Well the power grows every day that you do something kind for someone else.” And we thought about what he could do. Like help his teacher. Put the supplies away. Maybe share a toy with one of his classmates or ask somebody that seems lonely if they like to have lunch. And even tell his parents that he’s trying to learn better. Because he was actually a very bright smart boy.
So he said, “I really, really, really want the power.” I said, “Perfect. Are you ready to let it grow? Because it may take some weeks before everyone else catches on. Just how truly powerful you are.” He said, “I’m in.” “Okay then. So close your eyes, spin around and I did twizzle, twazzle, twizzle, twone, you are now empowered. Da da-dah! So he said, “Oh my goodness. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he says, “I feel it. I’m feeling the power.” And then he said, “Would you please be my friend?” And I don’t know if you ever remember seeing the Wizard of Oz, do you remember?
Oh I have seen it.
Do you remember Glenda up in the bubble. The pretty one?
So I pretended I was Glenda and I just said, “You know, Ben? I already am your friend.” And he said, “Thank you,” and he was just jumping up and down for joy and he skipped away, so happy.
So what I’m trying to share with you, Neva, and your audience is how we think about ourselves.
And also, how we share with others. Like doing nice things for other people. Actually make our power grow. Because then we become like a magnet. And people go, “Wow, that’s Ben. He does all these great things for others.” He doesn’t just sit around thinking oh I’m not good enough. I’m not hansom enough. I’m not this, I’m not. He says no. He says, “I’m going to focus on someone else. And I’m gonna become more powerful.” Because when we do things that are kind towards others. Who feels good?
Yeah. We feel good, right? And that’s one of the treasures we have of being human. Because we have-
Exactly. Exactly. Can I share a quick story? Then I think we might have to take a quick break.
I would love it, yes.
Okay. So my mom, my dog, and I were at this park. And I met this little boy, and his sister, and their dog. And we were just talking on the swings. And my dog was a little bit bigger than his dog. And my dog is twist schnauzer so they were really tiny dogs. And he said to me, “If your dog bit my dog I would hit just hit him.” And my dog is a girl but I went, “You don’t hit my dog. Never. No one ever hits my dog.” And then he’s like, “Oh, would she bite me?” I’m like, “No, she’s very friendly. But she would bite you if you’re blind. Then that’s one of the first times I ever stood in my power. And I was talking about it for weeks. It’s normally my mom saying, “Well you chose to get intimidated.” But no, this time he chose to get intimidated.
And isn’t it interesting how when your dog was threatened, you stood-
Oh no one messes with my dog.
Yeah. Yeah exactly. So I don’t know, it’s kind of like a term some people use but a lot of people feel like inside us kind of are part of our heart or our soul is what they call the inner child. And so just like your mother and daddy would never let anyone hurt you. If you can also tap into I have a child within me and no one’s going to take advantage, disrespect, or hurt that inner me. And that’s kind of a different way of looking at it. But just like you protected your pet, you also stand up for you.
Yeah. So I’m proud of you thought that was a-
… great story.
Yeah. Anytime my dog gets thrown into the mix I’m like if you … I swear if someone hit my dog they would have to run for their lives.
I call that the mama bear in you.
Yeah. I’m like a mama bear to my dog. Actually, I have another quick little story that I want to share so. Okay, well first thing I have to take a break. And then I will share the story.
I can’t wait. Okay see you soon.
Alright. We’ll be right back. We’ve been talking with Kristine Grant about the amazing power of friendship: how to let your inner BFF shine.