Thriving After a Narcissistic Mother

Kristin Maxwell:

Hello, everyone, welcome to Your SuperPowered Mind. I am your host, Kristin Maxwell and in this show, we explore the process of transformation and give you tools and strategies that you can use to transform your own life. Today, I am very excited to be talking to Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg, about Thriving After a Narcissistic Mother. And Dr. Kriesberg is a clinical psychologist with extensive training and the treatment of anxiety disorders, and the use of hypnotherapy. One of her specialties is helping adults with narcissistic parents to lead happier, healthier lives. She’s also the author recently of Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. And I am really excited to have Dr. Kriesberg on the show because I have a number of friends and clients who have recently come to decide and or wonder whether their parents have actually some narcissistic tendencies. And I know it’s really a struggle. So what a wonderful opportunity to learn more about that and what can you do if that’s something that you’re struggling with? So welcome. Would you like me to call you Stephanie or Dr. Kriesberg?

Kristin Maxwell:

Well, thank you. So you know, my first question is always what superpower did you uncover in the process of mastering your mind?

Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg:

Well, I think that’s such a great question. And paradoxically, what I discovered that was most helpful to me, and that I love to share with my clients is that I could not control my mind. And that we cannot stop our thoughts. And let me explain that I am someone who’s always worried a lot. And then felt bad that I couldn’t control my worried thoughts. And then I learned that it’s, it’s not possible, or even helpful to try and stop those worried thoughts. The most transformative thing for me was to learn that, what’s much more helpful is to notice our thoughts, and to step back from them. And just to notice them, label them notice them drifting by like, like clouds in the sky. And this is not easy to do, it takes practice. It doesn’t mean we like our thoughts or want them, but we accept that we have them, and we stop fighting them. And that’s been the most transformative thing. For me and in my mind.

Kristin Maxwell:

Yes, that is so interesting. And you know, as somebody who has, in my life, I got into all of this, because I have always been very, very anxious, very anxious. And I did very much beat myself up for you know, a, why am I doing this, I should not be doing this. You know, you know, it doesn’t make sense and all of that sort of stuff. And it’s very funny, because I think about the way that I went around, dealing with it was very, it was a little bit different from yours. And I love that you were actually able to let your thoughts be there.

Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg:

Yes, exactly. And I’m not saying it’s easy. But what I learned is that the more we try to push them away, what, you know, there’s a saying what we resist persists. And taking the approach the approach of let’s notice them, let’s let them go like waves in the ocean is actually a really powerful tool for me in transforming my mind. 

Kristin Maxwell:

Yes, that is amazing. And yes, I think that’s also partly what I did I learned I had to just rather than get stuck, and what the thoughts were is just go into oh my gosh, I am scared. I am really afraid and just feel the fear rather than trying to push it away too. So probably the same thing, just different, different labels. But anyway, I have just gotten way off track, but that’s an amazing skill because there are so many people who are really really dealing with anxiety. And I know you know a lot about that. But I really do want to ask you today about what to do, what kind of impacts and what are you going to notice and find in yourself if you have a family member, particularly a parent, who is a narcissist. And before we get into that, though, I want to just take a break and get that done. Can you let people know about your book and where they can find it? And then we’ll, you know, we’ll take a break and come back and get into it.

Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg:

Great, thank you. My book Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers is available on you know, Amazon, or you know, really where the books are sold. And in addition to that, the best place to find me is through my website, which is DrStephanieKriesberg.com.

Kristin Maxwell:

Great, thank you hang on everybody. And in a moment, we will come back and talk to Stephanie a bit more about what it takes to thrive after having a narcissistic mother?

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