True Transformation to Personal Power
As I sit and compare these images, I marvel at the concept of True Transformation in a quest for Personal POWER. The process is so much bigger than dying my hair red and going from a size 22 to a size 8. Those are just the outer reflections of a deep, intrinsic transformation.
I married my POWER partner five years ago. I knew then that hidden deep within the person I’d become was the person I intended to be. I knew he saw her and I knew I needed his support to truly become her. Despite the fact that I was an accomplished, successful, educated, confident, aware woman, the wounds I carried ran so deep that I kept hitting walls trying to heal them.
I see this in my clients also. There are levels of ourselves that exist so far beneath the surface that we have difficulty accessing them on our own. I don’t think everyone requires a spouse or life-partner to transform, but some of us do. My journey is so incredibly clear to me in retrospect.
From the moment I met my husband, I knew…deep in that place where we know Truth…that we agreed to come together in this lifetime. I SAW the man hidden within him and I know he saw me. Our souls carried us through as we negotiated the details of our relationship. And I know now that a driving force in this process was our daughter.
In the same way I recognized my husband, I knew my daughter the moment she whispered her name from my womb. Numerous doctors told me I would never have children and I never let myself truly dream about motherhood. Her confident knowingness emanating from inside me provided such comfort during a tumultuous pregnancy and birth. Again, my heart just knew our little triumvirate was meant to be, fueled by a spiritual connection I didn’t truly understand.
During the last five years we’ve traversed illness, injury, death, devastating fire, deployment, poverty, foreclosures, total leaps of faith, business failures, business successes, detachment from everything we once knew, traveling full time without a “home,” finding “home” with an amazing extended family of friends, and, most importantly, finding those pieces of ourselves that laid dormant for too long. We woke up to our own version of reality. And we discovered the secret to True Transformation and Personal POWER.
You see, the path to True Transformation is less about doing and more about undoing. The essence of who we are simply…is. The essence of who we are requires no trappings or definitions or quest to discover. But this isn’t helpful, is it? I can sit here now and say that you just need to “allow” yourself to come through. But what does that mean?? We all want to know, “How do you DO it?” We want the 5 step process. And that process exists…I wrote about it. (The 5 Steps of Transformation) But these steps simply bring the process to the conscious level. Even armed with this knowledge, you can’t force it. All of the pieces must align in order for the transformation to happen.
For me, I had Steps 1 and 2, the spiritual and cognitive pieces, down pat. But I needed to see unconditional and supportive love demonstrated by my husband and daughter in order to truly “get” the emotional piece. And then I needed my husband to hold my hand and leap with me into the physical and cellular realm of actually creating visible change. I remember saying these words to him, “I can feel the POWER pushing to come out of me, it’s physically uncomfortable to contain it. But I know myself well enough to know that I won’t do this alone. I need you to hold my hand as I bring this forward. I’m too scared to do it alone.” That statement solidified for me that there was no going back. Of course he said he would support me. Of course he did exactly that. But it was me stating the intention that made it clear I was ready to move forward.
I discovered what I wanted, I asked for what I needed, and I accepted nothing less. That’s the secret to True Transformation.
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About the Author: From the corporate world to the spy world and from rape victim to motherhood, Tonya Dawn Recla embodies the definition of personal POWER. She holds a B.A. in intercultural communication and M.A. in education/critical theory from Arizona State University. Her current projects include finishing her second book, The Dragon Queen, advising business clients regarding due diligence, and providing intuitive consulting to her decision-making, change-agent clients (PersonalPOWERexperts.com). She and her husband currently travel the world with their 4 year-old daughter.
