The Conscious Experience – Unplugged

The conscious experience is what some of us chase where we’re called to create our existence. This is a common conversation amongst new age, metaphysical, spiritual folks, but when you reach the point of complete freedom to create, it takes on a whole new depth. Those of us driven to serve in a selfless way toward creating higher levels of consciousness tend to seek signs, drift in the flow, and basically defer to Spirit for our general life plan. I think this is a necessary step for some. It takes us to a place of complete faith and utter surrender. But what happens next?

Some of us agree to take our knowing of Truth to a higher level. And this is where true creating occurs.

What if you reach a point of awareness where Spirit literally removes her hands from the canvas of your life and hands you the paintbrush? What if you reach a place where you’ve proven your willingness to serve and surrender, down to the smallest remaining piece of your ego, and nothing happens next without you taking back control? Perhaps that is the very definition of integration.

We come into this world as spiritual beings, capable of infinite creation, but limited by our physicality. As we develop physical abilities our egos begin to emerge. For some of us, we relinquish spiritual knowing for ego/personal growth. That process eventual takes us to the dark night of the soul, that period when your spirit whispers from deep within that it no longer consents to hide. It no longer agrees to play a supporting role to the ego. The epic battle between spirit and ego ensues and the winner determines the path our lives take moving forward.

But it doesn’t stop there. If the spirit reigns victorious, the ego doesn’t necessarily drift quietly into the physical abyss. And for good reason. The ego exists to keep us safe. Its sole purpose is to react to situations with fear, anger, righteousness, sadness, and any other of a number of emotions so we take heed and navigate the big scary matrix in a safe and controlled fashion.

So the journey into the heightened spiritual-growth phase of our lives continually provides opportunity for us to face our egos and kindly request they back the “f” off. Every flare up of sarcasm, back-stabbing, heartbreak, jealousy, anger, fear, etc. brings us face-to-face with an opportunity to penetrate the death-grip our egos have on our fate.

But let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you tackle all of these opportunities with zest and zeal. You race past pesky personality problems with swift feet and hurdle enormous ego-issues with Jordan-like verticals. And suddenly you find yourself on the other side of your bruised and battered ego (finally convinced of its supporting role in this little life movie you created) and you have nothing left to battle. Not that your ego doesn’t misstep from time-to-time just to remind you of your humanness, but those are few and far between and really symbolize nothing more than momentary distractions. Now what?

Once you get to a particular point of spiritual knowing, by proving you’re willing to do Spirit’s work of remembering who you are and what you’re capable of, then the next phase may just blow your mind. What if this driving motivator we’ve all believed for so long about having a purpose in life or a specific mission here on Earth is really just a load of crap? What if that just serves to get you to this place of knowing so you can then really start living your life?

You see, all along I’ve heard that I should be present in the Now – that I should stop and smell the roses. But how could I reconcile that with this pressing need to find my purpose? If I was supposed to do Spirit’s work here on Earth, in a big and specific way, then who the hell was I to stop and smell the roses? I had work to do, damnit! A friend of mine once told me, “Life is triage. Heal the wounded and move on to the next one. And there’s a lot of wounded.” At first I thought that was a tragic way to view the world. But then it made sense. I have gifts. I’m empathic, intuitive, clairvoyant, clairaudient, clairsentient (let’s just throw all the clairs in to cover things), and possess a high level of spatial intelligence. Oh, and I’m also pretty damn smart. Surely I wouldn’t have all of these super hero powers if I wasn’t meant for something big. And if I was meant for something big, then I better shoulder that burden and carry the load I agreed to bear. What if I stop to smell a rose and one of the wounded walks past me and I miss it?? Holy crap! How could I live with myself?

Excuse the dramatics, but I swear we all believe some aspect of this. But here’s the real revelation…ready for it? We all have super hero powers. Not in the we’re-all-special kind of way, but in the no-shit, we’re all capable of healing, manifesting, intuiting, clair-ing to our hearts’ content. And when you get there, it’s no big deal. That’s what no one tells you. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.

I think the reason people don’t tell you this is two-fold. First, if it really ended up that the entire process brings you right back where you started, without fanfare or any sort of Revelations-type-craziness, would anyone do it? And secondly, selfishly, I’m not sure any of us want to admit that this heart-breaking, gut-wrenching journey through the soul we took with such fervor really results in nothing earth-shattering or world-changing. (Especially when we kept convincing other people to do it too.)

But here’s the catch (of course, there’s a catch). You still want to get here. Even without the fanfare and fireworks, it’s THE place to be. And you can’t fake it. Even though it feels like you end up exactly where you started, the separation and then re-integration of soul and ego results in the best of the spiritual and material realms. It’s only from this place that you see with gnostic vision and manifest with magical manipulation.

Here’s another little tidbit. When you get here, you recognize that the quest for your spiritual purpose is another trick of the ego. And it’s a good one. Just like the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he did not exist, the greatest trick your ego ever played was convincing you there’s something your spirit can do that no one else can. But again with the irony – that very quest for spiritual purpose leads us to the place where we know we get to create the next phase. If we want it to be about a grandiose spiritual purpose, it will be. If we want it to be about parenting the new generation of truth-seekers, it will be. If we want it to be about creating the next best ice cream flavor, it will be. Because, honestly, Spirit doesn’t care. By the time you get here, you’ve done the work. Spirit no longer provides clues or nudges you this direction or that. They’re too busy with the folks coming right behind you, still stuck in the realm of separation. By the time you get here, Spirit hands you the universe’s credit card and says, “Have at it. Go forth and create. You win.”

And, trust me, you want to get here.

So what does this have to do with personal power? I stand by my statement that those who stand in their power powerfully serve. And the only way to get here is to Stand in your POWER. And truly we are here to serve. Even as I watched the concept of spiritual purpose crumble around me, I recognized that part of the reason we create and manifest so freely from this place is because we’ve already dedicated ourselves to serving. But we didn’t come here to serve Spirit. Spirit doesn’t need our help. (In retrospect, isn’t it a bit egotistical to think that they NEED us for anything??) No, we came here to serve ourselves and each other. It looks different for each of us, but even when we realize we’re not driven by any pre-determined purpose, we still continue to serve. Our lives feel empty and devoid of connection without it.

But this process still relies heavily on the concept of personal power. So many of us abdicate our power throughout this journey. Initially it might be that we abdicate to people in our lives. At some point we may even abdicate to our own egos, in the form of an archetype that reigns supreme within us. But as we move closer to integration and wholeness, many of us start to abdicate to Spirit. It’s bizarre really to think it can be done. If we are of Spirit and walk around in earth-suits as infinite spiritual beings, how can we abdicate to an essence of ourselves? We do it all the time. Whether we abdicate to a person in our lives, our own egos, or Spirit, the result is the same. We’re not standing in our own personal power. Prior to total integration of ego and spirit, all aspects of ourselves, including the other people in our lives, represent that separation.

Stay with me here…if we’re all of Spirit and connected through the energy and life-force that exists within us, then everything seen through the lens of separation represents an entity separate from ourselves. This may be the people in our lives, our own egos (represented by different archetypes) and even Spirit. It feels better and looks more honorable to abdicate our power to Spirit, but the result is the same. That sort of distinction between us and Spirit perpetuates a disconnectedness. It prohibits us from the last step of integration. It keeps people from getting HERE.

And here’s another kicker. This does NOT bode well for those of us who build careers and livelihoods around helping people get here. Because, to some extent, we’re working ourselves out of clientele. The whole point is to get to a place where intuits, psychics, clair-everythings, channels, priests, etc. become integrated into the essence of who you are and no one outside of yourself is necessary for you to manifest whatever, however you want. And, ironically, the only place we can lead you is here. Everything from this point forward you get to create…solely from desire. Without any sense of purpose or mission, you truly get to create each moment, no one can predict that decision for you.

I guess that might be another good reason why no one tells you that the journey eventually leads here. In this place, there are no mentors, no guides, no teachers, no readers, no assistance necessary to connect you to Spirit. You are connected, you are the connection, you are Spirit. Sure, hire a guide to take you backpacking through the Amazon. Or hire a skydiving instructor (in fact, we recommend it). But no more abdicating to others to guide you through the spiritual realm. They can’t help you anyway from here. From here your next step is undetermined until you take it. You create the path ahead of you. Spirit holds no more expectations of you once you reach a place of wholeness.

So I guess the process of standing in your power guides your journey until you get to the place where you become the power. When you embody the essence of all you are materially and spiritually and you’ve integrated fully, it isn’t possible to abdicate your power. From here there’s no one and nothing to abdicate it to. From here you get to use that integration to create your existence however you want without consideration for limitations or spiritual prescriptions.

And, trust me, you want to get here.

About the Author: Tonya Dawn Recla spent the last two decades exploring the human psyche and cracking the code of enlightened self-actualization. During her career as a Special Agent, she honed her Super POWERS and started exploring the spiritual and metaphysical realms of intuition and human consciousness. Tonya continues as a lifelong student of energy manipulation, transmutation, clair senses, intentional molecular creation, etc. She believes everyone has the POWER to create a multidimensional existence and master the human experience. Her clients consider her the Ego Wrangler and rely on her to clear the path between them and their highest potential. Her ability to both lovingly hold space and pointedly call bullshit endears her to all who seek guidance.