Tools for Transforming Challenging Emotions
What are the tools for transforming challenging emotions? In this episode of Superpowered Mommas, host Tatiana Berindei sits with Amanda Hainline to talk about breaking away from the negativities. Tatiana and Amanda believe that you can shift your energy at the moment. There are existing tried and true practices for turning away from anxiety and anger. It is best to practice these techniques with your children, giving your kids and yourself powerful tools to transform any complex emotion. Tune in to learn the best practices on transforming challenging emotions.
Tatiana Berindei:
Hello everyone and welcome to the SuperPower of Momma’s podcast show. I am your host Tatiana Berindei, and today my guest is Amanda Hainline. And we are going to be giving you some tools for transforming challenging emotions. Let me tell you a little bit about Amanda before we dive in today. Amanda Hainline is an emotional freedom mentor, intuitive healer, and author of the bestselling book “Feel Better in Five Minutes”, an empowering guide to gain control over your emotions.
For 15 years, Amanda has been exploring the world of energy healing through gifts that came to her in a spontaneous Kundalini awakening. A clairvoyant, audio voyant, clairsentient, and medium, she uses her gifts to help others on their own journeys of health and healing. She says, “I love my energy work because there are no bounds. And I’ve had clients tell me that a single session helps them more than years of therapy. That’s because it works differently and circumvents the blocks we put up in our mind.” In “Feel Better in Five Minutes”, she shares 79 emotional freedom methods to help others gain freedom from the anxiety, depression, and stress that are rampant today, to help themselves and others. Amanda previously worked as a business manager and consultant. A mom of two sons, she says her family fueled her passion for all things healthy from food and supplements to functional medicine and she lives in Austin, Texas. Welcome to the show, Amanda.
Amanda Hainline:
Thank you so much for having me, excited to be here.
Tatiana Berindei:
Lucky to have you. So before we dive into our topic today, will you tell our listeners what your superpowers are, especially in the realm of parenting, because this is a show for the parents.
Amanda Hainline:
Of course. Well, I would say, my boys are now 19 and 21, so I’m at the point of looking back and kind of understanding how I parented has impacted my boys over time. And when you’re in the throes of parenting, it’s tricky because with every decision you make, you’re second-guessing yourself. Or you’re like, was that the right thing to do? Was that the right thing to do? And I’ve had many conversations with them, especially my youngest. I have two very different polar opposite children. My older one’s very logical, very literal. My younger one has a lot of emotional IQ. He’s very intuitive, we’re two peas in a pod. And I would say as far as parenting goes, it’s really helping them understand their emotions and helping them understand other people as far as appreciating everyone for their uniqueness.
For instance, my younger one was being picked on at school when he was probably in first, first, or second grade. And he was really angry at this girl and he’s like, “She’s so stupid. And I hate her and this and that. And she’s so mean.” And I said, “Well, maybe she’s probably going through something in her life that’s very difficult and she’s really struggling. And for some reason, you feel safe to pick on.” And I was like, “I don’t like that, from that standpoint, being your mom, but you need to understand that that’s where people are coming from whenever they’re hurting.” And so trying to get him to reframe this. And that was the first semester. And the second semester, she kind of shifted how she was talking to him and how she was dealing with him. And he found out that her parents were going through a divorce and she was really struggling with that. And so he actually became a friend to her.
And was having that compassion for her. And I think really helping your kids understand compassion for other people and that if someone is treating you unkindly, that it’s probably coming from a very wounded place inside of them.
Tatiana Berindei:
Yeah.
Amanda Hainline:
And that helps you to kind of process things like that in a different way. And also just viewing the world differently and understanding their emotions. And whenever my kids would get angry or they would throw a fit or something like that, I’m like, “Well, they had a bad day.” And I’ll tell them, “Hey you’re acting like this, what’s going on?” And really helping them understand that I’m there for them during those times when they’re struggling and they’re having a bad day, I said, “You’re responsible for your emotions, you’re responsible for how you act.” But also I understand that you’re developing those skills.
I try to help them talk through that so that they could put words to what they were feeling and what they were going through rather than just being angry with them and sending them to the room for misbehaving because everybody has a bad day. And I think sometimes as parents, we hold our kids to a higher degree of behavior than we hold ourselves to. Because if we have a bad day and we lash out, I know a lot of parents and my own mother actually, would never apologize for how she acted, if she was really out of line with me. And so with my kids, I always made an effort, like if I did have that behavior to say, “You know what? I had a bad day, I’m sorry that I lashed out at you.” And so letting them know that “Hey, I make mistakes too. We’re all human.”
And that gives them permission to kind of have that space as well. So I think that’s super important whenever you’re parenting to really give your kids a little bit of grace.
Tatiana Berindei:
Yeah, absolutely, and yourself too.
Amanda Hainline:
Yes.
Tatiana Berindei:
I feel like that’s a beautiful segue into, sort of, what we’re talking about here today. And I titled it “Tools for Transforming Challenging Emotions” because I do really want to give some of your brilliant tips to our listeners and maybe even walk them through a process or something if you’re open to that. But I wanted to open with the understanding that your story’s fascinating. You had a really kind of spontaneous Kundalini awakening. And I also know from this work that, to sustain that and to make it something that is going to work in your life and that you become really agile with in terms of how you walk in the world, it takes time, right? It takes practice. It’s like building muscle. You’re not going to go to the gym and be able to bench press 150 pounds overnight if you’ve just been sitting on the couch for months and months, right?
Amanda Hainline:
Right.
Tatiana Berindei:
You’re going to build muscle. And I think working with this kind of material is the same thing. And I just want to say that, because I think it’s absolutely true. I think what’s true is, I’m just really wanting to promote an understanding from a mental health perspective. That you can shift your state in a very short period of time, that is possible. But to be able to do that consistently and effectively takes time. It’s a skill set that you get to learn. Just like with the kids, right? Like we’re teaching them. And sometimes it takes years to get really, really good at that, to get unconsciously competent at it.
And I just want to lay that framework, that we’re going to give you some really valuable tools here that you can use to start practicing in your own life. But to ease the expectation that you’re going to learn this and then tomorrow you’re going to be masterful at it. Mastery takes time. It takes dedication, it takes commitment, it takes practice, it takes years often. So I just wanted to put that out there and lay that foundation from the beginning. Because I think it’s so easy to get caught in this, “Oh, I should be able to just do this really fast.” We live in this instant gratification culture and it’s like, “I should be able to just fix myself.” We can go into all of the flood premises that were broken in the first place later.
Amanda Hainline:
Exactly. No, we’re with you on that.
Tatiana Berindei:
But you know that and it’s like, and then when I can’t, there’s something wrong with me and then it brings up all the shame and so I just wanted to put that out there for anyone who’s listening. We are going to give you some really fabulous things that you can take home and practice and don’t expect it to all be better and gone overnight, because it won’t be.
Amanda Hainline:
Right, exactly. And I love everything you said, a hundred percent agree with everything you say. It’s very, very true. The name of the book is “Feel Better in Five Minutes” and it’s a catchphrase and people say, “Well, could you really feel better in five minutes?” Absolutely, you can. And actually, a lot of these skills, once you start doing them, the more you do them, the easier and faster it gets. However, while the title speaks to the instant gratification aspect, the book is really about diving deeper and helping you understand how emotions are connected. And it’s very easy to get down on yourself, especially as a mom.
We have this perfectionist mindset of, I have to do everything just right. When we have other moms, we feel like we’re being judged by other mothers.
Especially when your kids get into school and they’re being compared to other kids because of their grades and different things like that. And you put a lot on yourself. And yes, these tips are fantastic to use yourself. They’re fantastic to teach your kids. I mean, the more you empower them to gain control over their own emotions and by control, I mean acceptance of where they’re at and also saying, “Okay, but I’m still responsible for how I’m feeling. So I’m going to work through where I am.” And these techniques can actually be a real bonding experience. And they’re amazing tools for life, not only for you but for your kids. And so I’ve found the earlier that you start to teach your children this, the easier it is for them to work through the stages of being a child today. It’s much more complicated than when we were kids.
The comparison and the stress and the pressure are so much higher for them. And one of the things that I like to teach and that’s in the book is about grounding. And anxiety is a big thing today. I know my younger one, that’s 19, he says, “It’s almost like anxiety is something people joke about.” And it’s like, “Oh, you’re not in the crew if you don’t have anxiety.” And he goes, “I just think that’s awful”, that people think that way.
Tatiana Berindei:
That’s it.
Amanda Hainline:
Yeah, a lot of people my age think that way. And he goes, “And I think it’s just really pervasive.” And I said, “You’re absolutely right.” So grounding is something that I teach.
Tatiana Berindei:
I want to pause you. Â Because I want to really give space for this. I feel like there are a lot of really good things that are about to come out of you, but we do have to go to break.
Amanda Hainline:
No worries.
Tatiana Berindei:
I want to give them space before we go to break, will you tell our listeners where they can go to find out more about you and your work?
Amanda Hainline:
Of course, amandahainline.com is my website and I’m @akhainline on Instagram. And I have a Facebook group called Daily Energy with Amanda Hainline.
Tatiana Berindei:
Awesome. So go and check out her stuff. It’s brilliant. We’re talking about tools for transforming challenging emotions with Amanda Hainline today. And if you have not yet gone and checked out the Superpower Universe, please do so. I’m really excited about the new moon virtual ceremonies that are taking place there for the members. AngelaMaria and I have high frequency healing or offering a high vibrational living through essential oils class. Which is also, we were talking about tools, a great tool that you can use. These oils are powerful and wonderful. So if you’re wanting to dive deeper into that, Kristen’s got some great stuff in there too. Working with your mind, come and check us out. You can go to superpowermommas.com and sign up for membership there. We are talking with Amanda Hainline and we are about to take this break and we’ll be right back. So don’t go anywhere. There’s some good stuff coming.
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