Hello everyone and welcome. You’re listening to SuperPower Mommas and I am so excited to be with you once again today. Today our topic is parenting with special needs kids. Parenting in general is a big job, right? It’s kind of monumental when you think about all the challenges that come up that are unexpected. When you become a mom, you’re all excited. You have a vision of what that’s going to look like, and sometimes that vision doesn’t actually meet the expectations. To add to this is when sometimes parenting gets a little more challenging when you are actually, I would say, gifted to share a journey with a child that has special needs. Why I say this is because as we’re going to find out in this interview today, there’s many aspects about it that when we focus on those kinds of gifts, it kind of eases some of the challenges that we go through as parents. That’s true of all parenting.
But today we have Jessica Temple, and I am very excited to have her. She is a neuropsychologist and a mom of two children both with special needs. She works full time while having these two children, and she and her husband have started a podcast which addresses just this. She assists parents or has conversations about the parenting of special needs and how that affects us as parents as well as what goes on in the family. I want to say welcome so much to you Jessica Temple for coming in, also for sharing so openly your life journey with your children.
Well thank you so much. I’m really excited to speak with you today. Thank you for having me on.
Yeah. Yeah. What I want to start with, I really want to get into your story and how you managed to move through this with dignity and grace while you’re in the midst of chaos.
Right. Exactly.
Yes. Especially with two special needs children, right?
Yeah.
That’s quite a thing. But before we do that, I first want to ask you, what is your mama superpower? I can’t wait to hear.
Mine is kind of two fold. My main superpower is mindful parenting. So kind of being in the moment, being really present with the children and that kind of leading toward advocating for myself, for my children, and kind of by extension by what I do with the podcast, advocating as much as I can for other people for change in the special needs world.
Okay. Did you say two fold or?
Yes. So the mindful parenting kind of leads into advocacy. So the mindful parenting being one, advocacy for those in the special needs world kind of being the second aspect.
Okay. I see, I see. I do want to say, a point popped into my head as you were saying your words, is that mindful parenting is really something that can assist everyone, right?
Yeah.
It can assist when you’re dealing with your children and going through all the aspects of being a parent, but also in caring for yourself. I really appreciate that you brought this out no matter what walk of life our audience has today.
Thank you.
Yeah. And you’re working full time, so that’s quite a few.
Yes. Yeah, it makes it really hard to be mindful because I’m navigating a really busy work schedule while taking care of my life, my health needs and all the needs of my children, their schooling, this and that. Being more in the moment and aware of all of these things can be really difficult because it’s just juggling a lot of balls at the same time.
Absolutely. Absolutely. I was just going to ask you to expand actually on that a little bit because when we think about parenting in this kind of situation, it’s like the same thing for all families, but amplified when you have… Yeah. So how does your super power assist you with your children?
Yeah, so interestingly enough, before kids, I was a really anxious person. I was always focused on the past or the future. I really wasn’t very mindful. But since having children, especially children with special needs, it really changed me. So I realized after the first year or two, my first son who’s now four, that if I wanted them to survive and hopefully thrive, I really had to be in the moment and in tune with how they were doing, what they wanted, what they needed, and just be in the moment, especially because they couldn’t really let me know what they needed. Whether it was because they were too young or because they were impaired or couldn’t really express themselves, or maybe they just didn’t even know what they needed. I really had to be in the moment and with them fully to really make sure that their needs were being met and even making sure that their needs would be met in the future.
At first, well still now, but less so now, things were really busy because both kids were diagnosed around the same time. So Benji was diagnosed with autism in April of 2019. Although we knew from birth that Alex who’s 19 months old, had special needs, we didn’t know exactly what was going on until I would say March or April of last year. So it was kind of the same time that we figured out what was going on. Within a month of each other, we started with all sorts of therapies with speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy. So I didn’t have a lot of time to be with them, especially since I was working full time. So it was really 24/7 of all this.
I wanted to make sure that I could really enjoy the time that I did have with them. Of course I wanted to make sure that they were getting the stimulation that they needed and really progress. I realized through that that the only way I could do all that was to be mindful, to give them my all and my best and my most present when I was with them, which would give them the stimulation and that bonding that they needed and honestly that I needed as well. This led to so many things. Of course being able to bond with my children, but also noticing their sense of humor and noticing all of the gifts that they have in having special needs, noticing when something was wrong and kind of advocating this is not going to work, let’s do something else. Of course, being more patient.
So my oldest son unfortunately does have a lot of aggression, but in being in the moment, I’m a lot more patient with him and I’m able to anticipate his needs or figure out his needs so that he feels more comfortable, which leads to less aggression. It’s also led me to be more in tune with my body because unfortunately with the stress, my body has taken a toll. So being more mindful helps me know what I need, what I need to do for self-care, because it does change every day.
It helps me to ask better for what I need and to be calmer because me having a history of being very anxious with everything that’s going on, I could be a nervous wreck right now. But being more mindful and in the moment has helped me be significantly less stressed and my extension, I work with a lot of adult patients who have their own special needs, whether it’s from a traumatic brain injury or a stroke or whatever it is. It helps me to be more in the moment with them, be more present with them and to be able to fulfill their needs better.
Would you say, and we’re going to go for a break so I just want to do this quickly, but would you say your experience with your children has actually taught you a lot and enhanced your ability to perform with all clients, whether it’s your children?
Oh yeah. Absolutely. 100%.
Yeah. It’s amazing the gifts that come out of something that could feel tragic or feel overwhelming or chaotic.
Absolutely. Do I have time for a quick story?
Actually, we’ll do it when we get back. We’ll let everybody hear, but first, before we go and please share where you would like people to go to find you.
Sure. I have a podcast called Thriving in the Midst of Chaos, and our website is midstofchaospod.com. We’re also on Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter. Our handle is @midstofchaospod. Yeah, those are the ways you can find me. Feel free to also email at [email protected].
Perfect. Perfect. Well, thank you everyone. You’ve been listening to Jessica Temple. We are talking on the topic of parenting with special needs kids. When we get back, we’re going to hear this story that Jessica has to tell us. So hold on.
To listen to the entire show click on the player above or go to the SuperPower Up! podcast on iTunes.
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