Hello everyone and welcome. I’m Laura Greco, your host at SuperPower Mommas on The SuperPower Up Podcast. Today the topic is mommas reduce stress by mastering your money. Talking about money is almost like talking about the elephant in the room when we think about stress, it seems that there are no shortage of stressors in life and especially if you’re a parent. One of the challenges that hits home for many, and I have to say it’s really true whether you’re a single parent or a mom who is married, either way, money can become that unspoken stressor. That stress can affect every area of your life and this includes the residual effect on your parenting. Now, our guest today points out that you can be brilliant in your work for other unnamed areas of your life and yet when it comes to money, you may find yourself living paycheck to paycheck. This is exactly why I’m so excited to introduce you to our guest today.
As I welcome Melissa Ternes, I would like to expand a little on her background. She is a step mom of two grown boys along with being a paw parent. She has learned that no one is immune to the financial stressors. Melissa is most passionate about helping successful women get out of the all too common money traps of living paycheck to paycheck, juggling money while growing a business, and not having enough to invest. She shows women how to go from making money to building wealth without the pain and deprivation and restriction with her signature program, Aligned Money Life. Welcome, Melissa. I’m so excited to have you here.
Thank you, Laura. I’m just really excited to be here with you. It’s always a wonderful thing to help moms in the piece of stress reduction around anything for sure.
Absolutely. I mean, there are so many stressors that can affect people, but when the money’s tight or when it’s not… I know I was talking to one mom and you know, just to have the support she needs, she’s already working from home, but to have the support that she needs for a special needs child that she has, it becomes a challenge sometimes to… Should she leave where she lives so that she can afford this treatment? There are so many things that can factor in when you’re a parent dealing with that.
I think as a mom, your built-in nature is to nurture and so it’s that space of an expanded responsibility, right? It’s, I want this for my children, I want the best for my children. It becomes this place that grows and all of that stuff takes money, right? Because I like to say that money touches every area of our lives because it is, like you said with that mom. Do they get the treatment? Where do we live? How are we covering all of that? It just starts to come in and it could be the place that is overwhelming because we don’t talk about it. Right. There’s no even outlet once you get stressed out about it to go and talk to anybody about it and get someone to talk you off the ledge. If the kids are doing something or misbehaving or their grades are doing this or that, you can go get someone to talk you off that ledge. Like, oh, its okay. Just get a tutor. We’ve been through this, and it all works out. In the area of money, we don’t talk about it. It’s almost the stigma if you do talk about it that becomes like, oh, well, you know about her. It becomes this whole thing that it doesn’t have to be. You have to reduce stress.
Yeah, I can remember even myself, I have four daughters I was raising. When my first daughter was born, there was a need for me to bring in some income and you know how I can do that and still stick to my values. I personally wanted to be a mom at home. I’m okay with working. I’m a hard worker, as far as that goes but how was I going to create that experience and still be able to be available to my children? It’s something that I lived through.
I think it becomes that cycle of, okay, how do I do all of this?
Yes. Because nothing was to be the sacrifice, right?
How do I do all of this and sleep at night, right?
Exactly.
Oh, I needed to sleep so I’m not grouchy so I can be the mom I wanted to be, and this and this and this. I think with moms it’s always, I want this and.
Yes, yes. If we don’t see it that way, we will have that, I always compare it to like a computer. You know, there’s always the pages you’re not looking at that are running in the background and draining your energy, right? You get slower.
You’re like, why do I have 57 tabs open?
Exactly, right.
Who knew?
Well, in our show, Melissa, we always ask, what’s your superpower? Would you like to share? Have you ever thought about what’s your superpower?
It is. It’s interesting because I think my superpower is both seeing the very details of everything as well as the big picture. This is the big picture and here all of the fine points that have to happen to make that happen. It’s interesting because I walk in places and I’m like, oh, and it’s like, it’s that blessing and a curse at the same time, right? It’s like, oh, okay, that’s not mine. Just leave that over there to reduce stress.
Oh, mine now. But it’s true. It is true. You know, because I read a little bit on your website about your story and I thought to myself, wow, as you mentioned this about seeing the details on the big problem, that is something you did for yourself, isn’t it?
It is, and it’s being able to step back enough to see what my big picture is and then, okay, here are all the details and then how do I take action on those? It’s all the steps that go into it. Lots of times we’re either on one side of the brain or the other side of the brain of like, oh, I can just see the grand big picture and I have no clue about the details. Bringing those together is an art, I think, it’s that art of bringing the pieces together to make what you want to happen to reduce stress..Â
You just supported my belief. I believe everyone is an artist in some fashion or another. You’ve just described it in this way.
And money, right? Do you love that? There’s art in money.
Yeah. Well, actually money is actually numbers, right? Numbers are responsible for everything that we exist in. Whether it’s music, it’s just all over us.
It is.
I love that you described it that way because it really makes it something that we can create rather than something we’re stuck in.
Right. I think too, in looking at what the patterns are, right? What are the patterns that with money that we get stuck in, what are the patterns in money that we see out there and how do we bring those in? I call them money stories, right? We have all these money stories that are running and it is. For your example, it’s the canvas of your life. What are the pictures that are painted on there and which are the ones you want to take the watercolor and let’s just whitewash that out. Like, that’s not something I want to carry on with me. Oh, let me just paint over that section and create a new possibility in that area.
That is so cool. That is exactly what I used to tell my children. Your life is like a canvas. They were artists, all of them, all four of them. I would say to them, you know, your life is like a canvas. You get to paint on it and if you don’t like it, you can paint over it and start again. You always have a choice. When we think about your superpower as far as seeing the detail in the big picture, how has this powerfully impacted your way of helping other people?
I think it is taking that look at what’s the story that’s running your life around money, right? It’s both what’s your story as a mom like what are you bringing in? Then it’s the story that’s running your kids’ lives around money. There are always different phases that we go through. You get out of college or you start a family and it’s like, everything’s tight. Then, either further along in business or in your career and more money is coming in, you have all these different phases in life with money. Your children pick up whatever the story is you’re running. If your story is there’s never enough money, your children pick that up. It’s this space of how do you go in and shift that in the mom and watch it shift generationally down through the children to reduce stress.
I love that.
Right? It’s that new possibility that you’re creating and as you create that for the mom, it trickles down, right? More is caught than taught, right? I’m sure someone has said that. It is, it is because we absorb the stuff that’s going on around us. That’s where we start to see the different pieces is, oh, well I saw her say that everything was fine. Then what happened was we didn’t go do any of these things that we used to go do. They’re absorbing that. Being able to be a mom and have the conversation at the age appropriate levels of, this is what’s going on and for the next couple of weeks we’re going to do some stuff at home instead of going out. How do you flow with that and it not be this big thing, right? How do you do it and reduce stress.
Right.
Where all the emotions get high, intense, and mom is crabby. Because that’s our normal nature is like, oh, everything’s, you know, the hot water heater went out and that meant that, you know, the kind of the trickle effect. When you’re in that paycheck to paycheck cycle, there is the trickle effect. Then it’s like, you want to go do what you can’t go, you can’t join any sports team. Are you kidding? Right. It has nothing to do with the sports team. It has everything to do with a hot water heater.
Exactly, which is often obscure. It’s not known, it’s not clear, and I love it. I love that you’re bringing out, coming to it from a more neutral space rather than an emotional state. Right? The fact is, this is how we adjust until things change.
Then it’s not that the sports team is bad or the art lessons or the singing lessons or any of that becomes bad. It’s just not right now. It’s that shift of right now the priorities that we can take hot showers to reduce stress.
I have to interrupt us for a minute. I love this conversation, but we have to take a break. Please, please let everyone know where they can find you, Melissa.
The best place to get ahold of me is at masteryourmoneynow.com.
Beautiful. Beautiful, okay everyone, stick with us. We’re going to continue this conversation on Mommas, reduce stress by mastering your money with Melissa Terne so hold on.
To listen to the entire show click on the player above or go to the SuperPower Up! podcast on iTunes.
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