Have you ever wondered what expectations really are? Are they good or bad? Well, Art Costello joins Neva Lee Recla to talk about the true power of expectations. Art is an author, speaker, and successful entrepreneur and he is pretty awesome! Listen in as Art and Neva share their insight on how powerful our expectations can be.

Hi, Art.

Hi, Neva. How are you?

I’m good. How are you?

I am awesome.

Awesome. What are your superpowers?

My secret power is actually the power of expectation.

Really?

The real key to it is once you learn how to manage expectations, life becomes so much easier.

It has driven me from the time that I was nine years old till today. It has gotten me through almost every major life event that I’ve had. The real key to it is once you learn how to manage expectations, life becomes so much easier.

Yeah, that’s a really good superpower to have because, like you said, once you learn how to handle expectations, your life is easier and you get to learn something new and you get to experience a new way of living when you don’t. For me, it’s not having expectations and it’s like being able to go with the flow, but for some people, it’s learning how to and how you can tie that into your life.

Yeah. For me, I’ve always had the idea that you cannot get away from expectations, but what it is is that you don’t want to be focused on the expectations of other people because when you’re focused on your expectations and how you handle them and how and what they mean to you because expectations are what drive us. All of our creativity, everything we do is based on an expectation.

A matter of fact, I challenge people all the time: “Tell me one thing that you do is that is not based on an expectation,” because it’s impossible. I mean, as simple as breathing and as complicated as solving the most far out problem that you could ever imagine. We always have expectations. When we have expectations that are set by other people, we give away our power. We give away our superpower when we give away our expectations to others and we start living what they want us to do instead of what we want to do.

I don’t want it to sound selfish because sometimes people think that it can be selfish to live that way, but it’s really not being selfish. It’s being self-caring. It’s about taking care of you.

Even at nine, and I can briefly tell my story, at nine years old, I was abandoned and had to figure out life. I went to a mountaintop and had a conversation with God and the universe and I asked, “What was going to become of me?” Because I had to figure everything out, I made this trip many, many times, and one day, I just heard a voice down inside of me that said, “Your job is just to be good and your greatness will come.”

I began to believe that after many, many years, and it really became who I am because I always had this idea and expectation that no matter what, everything in the world was going to be okay, I just had to go with the flow. I just had to flow with it. I’ve lived my life that way. I’ve done everything I’ve ever wanted to do.

I’ve been through some hard times. I’m a Vietnam veteran, was in the war. I’ve lost my wife to cancer in 2006 and I’ve had all the struggles that we all go through, but I’ve always come out of it with a smile on my face because I just know that in the end, it’s all going to work out. Everything’s going to be just so it was meant to be.

Yeah, exactly. I really like how you talked about that even in the darkness, you were able to find the good because some people, they’re stuck in it and they don’t know how to get out. I also liked how you said, “It’s self-care, not being selfish,” because to all you listening out there, it’s okay to be preserve yourself a little bit. It’s okay to not listen to every word someone says and try to find your, I call it finding your sync, and trying to find what you do in the world and trying to figure out how you can live your life without being controlled by someone else, without being the puppet.

Yeah. Your wisdom is way beyond your years.

Thank you.

The thing about when we let other people dictate what we do is that it causes hesitation and it causes frustration and it causes us to get stuck. But when you have that passion in your heart that it comes from withinside of you, that’s linked to your expectations because when you’re in sync with your expectations and you know what your want, your passion will come out and your growth, it just blossoms.

Exactly.

It’s awesome.

It really is. I find that it’s a huge gift being able to find yourself, especially early on and especially being able to discover it and use it to help others.

The greatest gift you can give to the world is being yourself.

One of the things I say a lot is “the greatest gift you can give to the world is being yourself,” because that is true and if you don’t live your life with a mask and you don’t live your life pretending to be someone else. It’s really great as well as I find that the more in your power you are, which, not being mean to people, but standing in your truth and speaking it, whatever that is for you, that is a huge gift in people. I find that the rude relationships or the people who aren’t the nicest tend to go away from you because you are standing in your tooth and that’s scary for some people, but it doesn’t have to be.

It’s so funny because this morning, my daughter is 40 years old, and this morning we had this conversation about standing in your truth.

That’s awesome.

It just resonates. I’m going to encourage her to listen to you because at nine, it’s just beautiful that you have an understanding of it because many people go throughout my life and don’t understand this.

Yeah.

It causes them to get stuck.

Exactly. You don’t have to get stuck. It’s because I’ve had the opportunity and the people around me to support me and I’ve just had the luxury of growing up in an environment where being yourself and truly living who you are is normal, but some people just don’t have that. I get to look around and realize, “I have a pretty easy life,” but some people don’t.

Well, I think that one of the things that has graced you is that you are able to express yourself and you do it very eloquently. That comes from living life experiences. I know that your parents really expose you to a lot of the world and don’t hide you from it-

Exactly.

And don’t shelter you and let you grow as a young lady and they’re to be commended for that, but you’re to be commended for being able to process it and move through it because it’s really a blessing.

It is. It really is. I’d love to keep talking about this more with you, but do you any last advice before we go into the break?

I just think that the thing is that we just need to live to who we are. I think that that’s the important thing. It’s hard for people to learn it, but to live your truth is probably one of the greatest statements we can make about us and others: Live our truth.

I agree. That is great advice. Before we go into the break, where can people go to find out more about you?

They can find about me at expectationtherapy.com and also, my podcast, the Shower Epiphanies podcast.

Awesome.

That’s where they can find me.

Awesome. Definitely go check him out because he is so amazing and inspirational. We’ve been talking with Art Costello about the power of expectations. We’ll be right back after the break.

To listen to the entire show click on the player above or go to the SuperPower Up! podcast on iTunes.