David Charlson and Tonya Dawn Recla on Living in Flow

Tonya Dawn Recla:
Beautifully said I had to giggle a little bit. I remember that kind of a feisty moment, when I was a counter Intel agent, I looked at my counterpart, and I was like, Do I have it on my forehead? Tell me your secret? It’s like, please stop speaking. Because, you know, in that world, especially people just start disclosing stuff like that was a longer report I was having to write.
Oh, my God, it’s so yeah, that I had a little moment there, you took me back. It’s beautiful. Right. It’s that receptivity and in the energetic space. And as we understand our art designs, and how we interact, and the fact that we are really connected, there’s always this beautiful interplay of receptivity, then when people are receptive to to us right and are willing to reflect and to be and to sort of set themselves aside essentially, and then it becomes, you know, that practice becomes really the being in the space with somebody else, like knowing yourself in the connection, is a really beautiful gift to others. And to yourself, because it allows for the dissolving of the separation, right of that, which kind of gets in the way of us sometimes. And it gives us the space to say, Wow, I see me and you and you and me. And and that gives us more puzzle pieces to kind of sort through right when we enjoyed together we’ve got not just double the amount, but exponentially more because of the creative principles that happen between us where two or more of us gather enlightened love, there are exponential forces available on you to work on our behalf. And so what you’re speaking to is beautiful on so many different dimensional levels of simply being a kind human, allowing someone space to say, Wow, this is what’s real for me, right? Creating a space where people are comfortable being themselves that that’s unique. And I’m in today’s world, as we as we kind of strive for our, our virtual avatars, right to develop our virtual avatars as much as we want to, so that we can hide behind them. You know, I know a lot of a lot of us are endeavoring to let that light shine through those virtual avatars and it’s in and that’s when we connect on the phone on Zoom. You know, it’s through social media, whatever it is, any of us that have the ability and the willingness to allow that light to shine through those virtual avatars is right, it’s brilliant, and so when so the fact that you can embody that and create a space where people can really tap into that is certainly beautiful. And then and then you use this in your work with others, right, working with the exact Situ coach, talk a little bit about how you got into doing that work.

David Charlson:
Yeah, I started when I was in the mortgage business, and I had a radical spiritual On counter with Jesus in a dream, and then nothing made sense after that it was just a big awakening. And that’s kind of the

Tonya Dawn Recla:
promise there Right? Inside Out.

David Charlson:
And then suddenly, the way I did work in the mortgage business needed to transform, it just didn’t fit us. And so what happened was, I noticed more and more people, I started to see patterns because people would undress financially before me when they would come to get a mortgage. And I just started to see the patterns. And I realized the patterns weren’t based on principles, they were based on the person’s that a lot of them were heart issues. And so I started having longer sessions with people as I would take their application, we’d start talking about their heart. So that developed into a coaching practice. That was my first coaching practice 22 years ago. And then those patterns just kept seeing more and more patterns. And I kept wanting to understand, Okay, why do we do these things that we know principally don’t make sense. But we’re still kind of compulsively doing things that aren’t helpful to us whether they be financial or emotional, or whatever. So that’s how I got started. It evolved to a point where I just continually wanted to help myself and others, and I wanted to know the truth about what actually stops us from becoming fully who we are. And I didn’t want to just become a confessional, I wanted to actually be a transplant, I wanted that safe place to be a transformative space. So that’s led me to my coaching practice today. It’s taken me to some pretty crazy clients, meaning I’ll kind of share one example. So I had I started, I started coaching creatives down in LA, and I had this gentleman referred to me, and I have permission to share his name. He passed away, and his name was Busby. And someone said, yeah, he’s a songwriter. And I thought, well, I don’t know anything about songwriting. I’m not a songwriter. Well, it turns out, he was a record producer, songwriter, and wrote for anybody you can think of in country music, like he was very prolific. And he’d grown to the point in stature where his business acumen had kind of gotten in the way of his creativity. And he’d lost connection to that childlike space that I think. And so he’d gone, he’d burned through five coaches, and basically said, I’m gonna be tough, you’re not gonna like coaching me, and I said, whatever. And we got him back to what the spark of his creativity was. And his quest was he wanted to get back what he actually wanted. He wanted to, he knew his gift was solid, but he felt like he’d gotten old and lost in his business acumen was overtaking his creativity, and he missed co creating with people. And so I dared him to when we boiled it down, it was he just, he, the way he described it was when I’m with a musician, and something beautiful and new comes out that is new for the world that actually rises to the top of the charts. It’s because I’m a really good friend to them. That’s what he described. It’s just like two really good friends hanging out, like, like high school kids or kids to play together. So I dared him to go there again. And he did. And he won, like he won the Country Music Album of the Year. But the point I’ll never forget is I would get him crying. And he’d say, I’ve done this before, I’ve cried before but you don’t understand Dave, when I go out into the real music world I’m gonna get it’s It’s fierce out there that they demand things. And I just said, I dare you to hold this space that you have right now. Because he’s getting ready to go to lunch with record producers, I dare you to hold this space that you’re in this flow space you’re in. And just, you don’t even have to talk about it, just hold it during lunch, don’t put on the business acumen mask, just hold it. And he called me after lunch. And he said, I had to record executives crying at lunch, and these people don’t cry in front of me. Beautiful. Like kind of illustrates what I’m talking about when you have that safe place and you’re in flow with it. And you dare to believe like a child again, that it can withstand the pressure of whatever. Brilliant.

Tonya Dawn Recla:
Brilliant story, David and the concept of giving that vulnerable space right and then encouraging vulnerability. If you know, that’s part of the write up, folks. If you’re, if you’re loving what David’s talking about, get over to DavidCharlsoncoaching.com. We’ll have a link for you on the interview page. Because what he’s talking about is that vulnerability, right? And we see that in today’s world, and it is actually the key to living in flow is the willingness to say, I’m not going to do it like everything else is. Excuse me, especially when everything else isn’t getting you what you want. And that’s really key is Dave, you said Their debut said something really, really, very, very profound, right? But it is, I believe, the element that holds people back. And it’s the willingness to not do things the way you think you’re expected to do them. Because what we find is that nobody’s really expecting that it’s just nobody ever does anything different. And so it becomes this kind of norm conditioning. And if when none of us stopped to question it, even when we’re the repeated behaviors, repeatedly create situations that we don’t want the simple courage to stop and go, Wait, hold on, what are we doing? An en, especially in this situation where that process I call it kind of auditing your life is like when did it work? And what was going on there? And what’s not happening now, and what I find with a lot of clients is that something brilliant will happen. And then the human reasoning wants to go back and figure out how this happened. But as we discussed between us a lot, the variables, the details, the things that have to kind of piece together, in order for these miraculous things to occur, are far too numerous and nuanced for the human mind to get in the moment, as is experiencing it. So will we do the life review thing, we’re like, oh, this is how this happened. Therefore, if I do this, this, this, this, and this, again, this is how we think this will happen. But we forget that we didn’t do it in the first place. We didn’t contemplate it in the first place, we didn’t plan it in the first place. It wasn’t us in terms of the Avatar that’s taking those steps forward. It was something else and and when we kind of expand that something else out to include other people and, and how others work in this real beautiful sort of surreal aspect of the field, this energetic, co creative space that we all share. The ability to predict how things are going to co create is impossible for the single individual because it requires all of us right there, there are too many details to kind of put together. But our minds think we understand what happened. And we think well, that’s how we do and then even though we put that the emotion in it doesn’t work. And it doesn’t work and it doesn’t work. We still think that’s how it should work now that creates a really beautiful space for self judgment, right for doubts. And it’s like, Wait, why are we doing this insanity, right? And it’s simply the program that we have, because we believe that it’s up to us. And despite all the evidence to the contrary, that these beautiful things happen in these co creative spaces that we couldn’t have predicted we certainly didn’t plan for. We think we did it. And so as you’re working with clients and helping them see this, what tips do you have for them for that kind of childlike space? Like? Like, yeah, yeah, whatever, how do they get back there.

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