Hello, everyone! This is Tonya Dawn Recla, your Super Power Expert, and you all are in for a treat today. So I’m not going to let her talk just yet because I know the second I let her talk, you guys are going to, I’m going lose you all.
But she, this woman is just this amazing kind of flowy, gooey, yumminess of energy. And she has such a wealth of information to bring to things which you know, I appreciate on this show. Like I love the energy, and the Woo-Woo, and then bracing, and all of the things wonderful and that. But what I really appreciate is the grounded aspect of it, and the practical application, and the how-does-it-fit-in, and can we really utilize this, do we want to really utilize this. You know those kinds of dialogues as we move further and further on this evolutionary journey. So this woman, I’m just teasing you obviously I’m not saying her name but that’s cool. Give me this moment because she’s really fantastic. This woman talks about things like sexual sovereignty, and she’s a body philosopher, and in all things like orgasmic and fantastic about the world, and passion, and loving yourself. And in my opinion, she’s just the embodiment of that and I think we could do with a little bit more of that in the world. We’re going to talk with her today about how to love yourself first, orgasmically. Not just sexually, but kind of taken life by the reins and in orgasmically writing her, you know, to her fullest. And I think that that we have that opportunity on this show today to to highlight ways to do that, and to give you guidance in how to step more fully into yourselves, and more fully into life. So, without further ado, please join me in welcoming Dr. Saida Desilets to the show. How are you, my love?
I’m so happy to be here and like I said earlier, I’m so excited you actually are one of the few interviewers that actually pronounce my name correctly so it just gave me this big thrill, like seen and felt and to join your audience and to share in a really abundant, and beautiful way, something that is actually our birth rights. So I’m really excited to talk to you about that today.
Well, thank you. And as I said to you, your name is very titillating. So I think it’s super important that people say, and I think there’s something energetically happens through your name. And I wouldn’t be surprised if more and more and more and more people aren’t saying it correctly, moving forward because there is something that as you step into that space, it’s like a portal. You know, your name is a portal there we go. You heard it here first. Her name is a portal. She’s magical and mystical and all things amazing. So with that said, let’s jump in and ask what are your superpowers?
I’m a catalyst.
I was so excited knowing you are going to ask me this question. And had to sit for a second, wow like how do I define these superpowers that I have in English? Because I operate a lot with body language. But here we go. I think that one of the ones that I love that’s been with me since I was a little girl, it was actually kind of disturbing for a large part of my life, but now I love it, is that I believe that I’m a catalyst. When I step into a room or interact with one on one with a client or a friend, there’s something that catalyzes just by being in my presence. And it’s usually if they’re in a stage of their life, or something’s happening that where they’re holding back their greatness, it’s going to come up in their face and get catalyzed. So that’s one of my gifts and I don’t need to do anything, I just need to show up in that happening.
Beautiful. I really appreciate you giving voice to that, because I do feel that for me I think that you do communicate through the energy, and the body. And it’s fascinating because I understand why you and I are so connected. I do the exact same thing, but I do it with words. Like my job is to articulate it. And as you’re talking like, I’m smiling because I had a realization the other day that it always happens. And it took me a while to embrace that, to really claim that and say, “this is my work, and this is what happens”. And here recently I had a situation where has really tested a conversation. I was guided to pursue. And we sat down, and of course, the person thought they were there for one reason, and I was pretty clear there for another. And you know, started in and the resistance was so strong, and it took so much longer that usually it’s instantaneous like people like, “oh my god, I just feel so much better, I’m like cool, awesome” you know, glad to help. But this one it took a good hour. And when she got there, it was like “oh my God!” like I felt spent. I was like, “oh my goodness!” I don’t think it is going to happen you know. She consciously had no idea what was going on but it was just this kind of peeling back the layers and peeling back the layers, and then she finally felt herself. And it was just you know, as I’m hearing God laughing you know like, “you know, you were going to give up.” But it was you know, it was that idea of catalyzing those opportunities for people I think is really essential work right now.
Absolutely. It is essential for several reasons. I think every single one of us deep in our own hearts feels a calling. A calling into our greatness, a calling to bring something forth that actually means something to us, and contributes in some way. And when we’re not allowing that to emerge, we’re going to attract catalystic energies like yourself, you know, and then me, and the other people who are holding that truth must emerge. And beauty must have its voice. It’s incredible because the world really needs this. I call it like the Global Intelligence, to wake up. And it doesn’t need to just wake up in atrocity, and fighting, it actually needs to wake up also in the beauty, and the gifts, and the expressions of those gifts.
I’m glad you brought it back today, because I teased a little bit before the show that we’re going to talk today about Love Yourself first orgasmically, and it’s not just a really cool title, it’s actually I think part of the process you know, awakening to the passion, and exuberance, and just the fulfillment of life, like the pure, just sheer joy, and you know, the tingling, the turn on, all of those good things. How did you kind of come into that level of things really claiming that space?
I believe I was born masturbating.
That’s an amazing question, Tonya. I actually believe that I was born masturbating. I came out of this connection to my body, and then Mom said, I was incessant. And she just had to teach me some boundaries. And that has infused my whole life; This beautiful deep connected relationship with the aliveness of my body. I like to actually change the words from sexuality, and from these things because the porn industry has really hijacked these things and made it difficult for us. So, I prefer the word aliveness, because that’s the truth of it when we are able to self-ignite, and we feel that much life in our bodies. We do tingle. Our eyes do sparkle, and actually we wake up parts of our brain that make us more courageous, they give us self-esteem, we get more creative, and we even have access to what’s called Transcendent States, which might sound Woo-Woo but they’re very, very, important right now to human beings, because if we only have doom and gloom, we shut down. Though in order to feel like we’re part of life like we belong here, we belong to life itself, we need to have those little moments of magic; throughout our day, throughout our week. And this is something we can self-ignite quite literally by being in contact with our bodies and our heart.
I really do believe you’re spot on, and I like the idea of you kind of you know, taking back and encouraging others to take back those conversations. I don’t know that everybody is consciously aware of the idea that the gateways are going to be through, not just doing the inner work, but really challenging the bounds of any story and program that we chose to take on to include how we relate to ourselves and to others intimately. And I don’t really see another way through. I think there’s so much work happening in conscious coupling, and redefining how we come together as full autonomous beings and what we have to offer each other outside of the codependent space. What we have to offer ourselves and others outside of the typical physicality of sex. Not disregarding the physicality of sex, because I think sometimes we go too far in the other direction, of like “oh my life is just a big orgasm, I don’t really need to have sex anyway” and it’s like, there’s this kind of synergy and the balance of all. I mean like balance, I think balance is overused but an integration of all of it.
We are gourmet.
Yeah, agreed. And I love what you’re saying because the idea that I bring forth is that we are gourmet. But we need to cultivate gourmet, and then we bring that, we offer that to relationships so that we’re not beggars. But we’re actually socially conditioned to be beggars in relationship. So, we need to a little bit unlearn that piece, and then understand that as we do this solo cultivation, the self-love, that we spend time putting items on this gourmet plate that we adore, that we feel fulfilled by experiencing, and then we offer it freely without having to bargain any part of ourselves in exchange for love or sex or anything.
Oh, I call it prostituting yourself. I love it. Because that’s what it feels like. It feels like, it’s like, why? Like for nothing no one no way. And where I started with that journey. Because I know some of you listening to us thinking, “OK, that sounds all well and good, but how do I get from where I’m sitting, to where she’s sitting?” You know, because I think we can all agree that where she’s sitting you know that be kind of fun. But the you know, for me, it really happened first and foremost dedicating myself to my own evolutionary journey above all else, and to the detriment of all else. And that forced me to look at dependency on my role as a spouse, or my role as a mom. And I had to really face the fact that I couldn’t live for those reasons. I never really took on the identity of mom, or the identity of wife, I think because I kind of came to it later in life. Then I had done a few things; that I’d been in the spy world, I’d been a government agent, like there were some things that I’d accomplished. And so by the time that came around for me, it was like you know, kind of putting on a new set of clothes. But what that catalyzed for me was the willingness to take a look and say, “OK, what am I going to kind of rein in for myself?” And by dedicating myself to my own evolution, even if it meant disappointing people, even if it meant not meeting somebody else’s standards, like even if it meant people not being really happy with me or liking me in that moment, it gave that part of my process give me a lot of courage to explore other areas and a lot of the territory that you’re talking about. How did you open up to that space?
First of all, Tonya, I just need to acknowledge and just take a breath, and really acknowledge your journey, and it feels like, I would call that Becoming and Being Sovereign. And I just want to acknowledge that because it is so crucial that we have living examples of people doing that. So I want to thank you for sharing.
Thank you. I just got tears in my eyes. Thank you for that.
Yeah. It’s important. So how did I come to this? You know, I think we all live in a world that has kind of these preset conditions. And actually, we need some of that because we have to orient ourselves socially; if we didn’t have like you know, “Hello means a greeting”, and you know, driving on the right side of the road. It would be utter chaos. So we need a little bit of structure within the society. But the piece that we forget is that we should not structure a person’s essence. That we really do need to create a spaciousness for the truth of a person, to feel seen and expressed in the world. And where this started to become true for me, was when I had to face my own death. So, a couple of decades ago I had a very intense experience happen. People would call it a rape experience, but for me, I contextualized it differently and it nearly cost me my life. I was given two weeks to live post that experience. And so I was quite young when I had to face making a really big choice. I had to choose to go against even my doctors; were I had to choose to go against the current mythology that they were using to heal me. I actually got permission to leave the hospital and go see an herbalist. Like, I had to choose to create my own journey and healing path so that not only could I heal this physical body and actually live, but that I could actually contextualize this really intense moment, in such a way that it became a point of power in my life. So that’s where it began for me.
Amazing. And I know you all can feel the power of what she just shared. I’m going to take this moment to take a quick break because when we come back, I think you and I are going to dive into some pretty intense areas around exactly what you just talked about. You know, I too have those stories that I chose to help transmute this lifetime and so, you know, I think we can uncover a little bit more about that, and really help some people who want to see those situations differently. And perhaps haven’t had the right words or examples to do that. Folks we’ve been talking with Dr. Saida Desilets. And we’ve been talking about love yourself first orgasmically. When we come back from break, we’re going to give you some ways you can step fully into that space. So please stay with us we’ll be right back.
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