She shares her experiences with needing to surrender and be in the moment, even if it was hard. She also talks about finding a way to love more and not less even in the midst of chaos and darkness.
I’m so excited to have back on the show with us, Tarah Long. She’s one of our members and is just an amazing shining light within our organization. I’m excited to have her back. We’re just going to flush out and feel into and expand upon a concept that’s been really highlighted here lately, of chaos and darkness. Tarah, first of all, welcome. Thank you for joining us today.
Thank you. I am so excited to be back.
What we’re going to talk about is a lot of people have a lot of fear right now. There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world. We were discussing a little bit ago about how, especially in December, how it just felt like really navigating spaces. I’d love for you to share that image you were sharing with me about like the falling aspect, and then we can go from there.
In one of my meditations, I just had this vision of this black hole. It almost seemed endless of course at the moment.
Actually, this was an experience that I was having pretty much all of 2016, but it came to me in different ways. Around maybe October, November, it had a lot to do with my business and a lot of WTF moments. “What’s going on? What do I do?” I just kept asking. I just kept asking my guides, my higher self. It was just painful. I was in a very uncomfortable place with it. In one of my meditations, I just had this vision of this black hole. It almost seemed endless of course at the moment. I kept asking for these answers and they were just like, “No more asking. No more asking for answers. First of all, there are no answers right now, so stop asking and just continue to fall.”
The surrender piece was something that I was really, really into last year and just felt the depth of that. Because I thought, “Oh my gosh. I have surrendered over and over again and as much as I possibly feel like I am at the moment.” But because I was still asking the question, “How can I surrender more? What’s going on here?” I wasn’t in complete surrender because there was still some resistance there. I got the image of just falling down this hole until I get to the bottom. There was no answer of where that was or when it was going to happen.
They basically told me, “Don’t try to grab on to the sides,” which of course, a lot of us do. It’s comfortable. “Wait, wait, wait. I just want to stop and grab on to something that is familiar,” even though it does not serve you anymore. That was the message. This doesn’t serve you. If you’re going to hold on to something, you can do it but you’re going to end up falling again anyway, so just let it all go. I knew that once I got to the bottom, only from that place was I going to be able to get any clarity, find any answers and really create what I meant to be creating in these moments. It’s really just, surrender, surrender, surrender. Yes, that was painful.”
What I love about that was that was about the same time I was getting messages of just really getting clarity on not needing to understand in the moment. In retrospect, I was able to look back and realize that everything always was clear after the fact. My desire to understand something in the moment was really, I won’t even say impeding the process because the process is what the process is. In a weird and twisted way, I wasn’t even enjoying the process, or appreciating it would be a better way to say it, appreciating it for what it was.
I found myself saying to a lot of people who are going through transition saying, “Hey, this is like the courtship, enjoy it. You never get this phase back again.” I’m thinking to myself like, “What a silly thing to say.” I know this sucks but it will be fine. Just love it. I’m learning to really appreciate the moments of chaos. I look at Justin these days and he’ll be like, “What are you doing?” I’m like, “I don’t know. I guess I just want to throw a little soup right now,” and it is okay.
Otherwise, I think as we go about this journeying, there is a place that some of us get to where it’s like, “What the heck is the point of all of this?” When you really get to where you know that you’re an aspect of oneness and you can instantly manifest, you can do all that stuff and you mastered all these different techniques. You know that there’s really no overriding mission or purpose that you just have to do, it’s all by choice. I think sometimes we can slip into this feeling of, “Why am I here?” It’s the whole self-definition but in a different space.
To me, it’s like we’re here to act like it matters. Not in the dramatic attachment ways before, but now it’s like, “How do we want to play?” Sometimes that playing is not rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes it’s playing with things like, “Holy cow, is the country going to hell in a hand basket.” Like, “Oh my gosh. Why are we so divisive?” Are we really having these conversations again and really taking that step up? I was going to say step back but it’s a step up and go, “Why? Why are we playing in this? What does it serve for all of us collectively? What is it that we wanted to experience here?” Allowing the experience and then perhaps analyzing it.
When the time is right. It’s really being discerning on that. Like you had said in those moments, it’s not necessary to have the clarity. It’s necessary to just be present in the moment, that what moment is asking for, that’s what it’s always asking for. If we can just feel into that. I know for sure, and I don’t say that a lot honestly because what do I know? I know for sure that the answer is always more love. These moments that we are feeling so separated and the otherness of him and her, all these things are happening right now especially in the US and globally too. When we feel like our hearts are breaking, how do we open them or how do we love more and not less? That doesn’t mean that we don’t have boundaries or we don’t voice our truth or anything like that. We can do all of those things with compassion in a way that’s loving to another versus anything else.
It reminds me when I first started off doing intuitive coaching. I heard myself really working with people who had bought into this idea of being in their heart space. What happened is we’d be talking and they would be he’s super irritated about something. “It just needs to come from my heart.” I’m like, “I’m going to tell you not to do that.” They’re like, “What?” I’m like, “I don’t think that’s where you really want to be playing.”
I created this whole idea of the power center, which is like the second, third and fourth chakras.
I created this whole idea of the power center, which is like the second, third and fourth chakras. Let’s drop down a little bit further. Because what I found was when you tell people to come from their heart is first of all, most people’s heart chakras didn’t have the capacity to really expand anyway. A lot of us, our heart chakras are in a state of arrested development. That takes some work to get through that. Not only that, but what I found is if you tell people to settle into their heart, their energy usually stops about their throat. You’re trying to get them out of their head into their heart and they don’t quite make it.
I was like, “Let’s just go further than that.” In fact, that’s when Justin and I would teach counter intel agents to feel the inside of their feet, because what we found is that if you have them focus on their feet they sometimes settle around their second and third chakras, which is a typically a powerful and expanded place for people to be in. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m not going to encourage to do that.” People were equating heart space with being weak because they were looking at the motion of love, not the frequency of love.
I would say, “That’s not a power play.” That time, all my conversations were around personal power. “That’s not where you’re most powerful.” You’re powerful in your knowingness, which is typically around, for different people, the solar plexus. Embody that space, expand out from there. Now, you’re connecting without compromising yourself. Teaching that piece of it. Then that moved into the dialog of the difference between love as emotion, versus love as frequency. I’m like, “I need everybody in the frequency of love.” Trust me when I say, most people will tell you it doesn’t always feel good. It doesn’t always mean that I’m being nice and polite. The different pieces of us experience that frequency very differently. I like that distinction, to meet people in love and expansion does not even mean that you really have to like him a whole heck of a lot at that moment.
The way I see this, we acknowledge their highest. For instance with Trump, I find myself having a lot of conversations with people who villainize him and I say, “Here is the deal. He can’t play that archetypal role unless we ask it of him.” It’s impossible. We would be foolish not to accept it. It costs him something to play that role. Anytime somebody is playing a hyper archetypal role, their sacrifice is an element of themselves to do it. He’s doing it because we’ve asked him to. When we no longer need him to, he’s not bound by that and then he has some serious choices to make. As long as we’re hitting ourselves against it, it forces that role to continue.
It just creates this force stronger.
How do you hold a position that maintains your power and doesn’t try to take someone else’s? Because a lot of us hold position by means of making someone else wrong. It justifies our position. It’s an art. It’s not modeled well I don’t think yet in our society.
That to me is coming from a place of lovingness and compassion when you can stand in your own power without making someone else wrong.
No, I don’t think that it’s been taught or that anybody really knows how to do that. That to me is coming from a place of lovingness and compassion, when you can stand in your own power without making someone else wrong for being in theirs, whatever level they’re coming from. When I am in conversation with someone, or see someone like Trump or whatever, of course I’m always able to see the person’s highest, whether or not they’re connected to it. That’s another thing. That to me is the space of love. We can only do that for and with others once we’ve done it for and with ourselves.
I’m so glad you mentioned that because make no mistake about it, I’m not saying that people are consciously aware when they’re playing those roles. It was a while back and I really started to explore within myself where that fight or flight thing gets triggered for me, when I feel unsafe in an environment. What I saw across the board was it was always when people weren’t necessarily managing their parts very well. I didn’t have trust in their ability to manage their lower frequency pieces. That’s huge because we all have those pieces. The only difference is the degree to which we’re able to manage them.
I got that from Dr. Strange. “We never get rid of our demons, we just rise above them.” It hit me in that moment. I was like, “Oh my gosh. That’s so right. They’re always there.” I’d been saying for a while, I could drop down to a lower frequency piece and stay there and wallow around it if I so chose. It’s never out of the balance of possibility. The difference is being in awareness of that and making those choices and really choosing to pull yourself back out of it if you do dip down whether you’re playing a role for somebody or you get triggered or whatever the case may be.
I’m really glad that you made that comment because very few people are consciously aware of the different roles that they’re playing and what they’ve agreed to. A lot of this just came from our marriage. Justin and I really played with this and committed to playing with how we’re speaking. I remember early on saying to him, “Okay, I know I’m triggered. I really want to make you wrong for it. I don’t know how to communicate it in a way that doesn’t try to make you wrong, or doesn’t take your power. Yet, I feel like I need to say something. I need to get it out. It’s in me.” Really just being open and transparent with each other through that process because there were no guide books for that. A lot of people, “I feel this when you do this.” It’s like, “Yes, but you can’t really do anything to me.”
That’s so wonderful that you are able to have an experience now, you can help other people have that conversation. Because relationships, that’s the place where we grow I think the most almost really.
You are talking about intimacy, real vulnerability in those spaces. So many of us are here in the call to co-create together. Not just dive into traditional-type relationships, but really shift that. It’s funny because if you look at it, what really did it for me, what prompted that in me was Kahlil Gibran. That guy’s work has been around forever. It’s not new.
It’s still completely relevant, every word.
I was really opposed to the concept of marriage until somebody pointed out his own marriage. I was like, “Oh okay, I can get behind that. That I’m good with.” My parents are still happily married after how many years. There is none of that. But the partnerships that I had seen, that isn’t something that I’m interested in. Even on children, that was a big model for how we raised Neva, is allowing her to be a full whole being from birth. Then what does that mean? There are implications for that in how you parent and how you dialogue. They’re not new concepts.
People are using them now or you’re using them now. You’re using them now in that way. I think that there is place for a lot of teaching in that area.
I see that. I’m not so much interested in teaching. I’m pretty clear that I’ve agreed to model it. I’m attracting the folks who want to teach it, because I think you need both pieces. The greatest thing, this whole Super Power Experts experience has taught me is how to be able to relax into exactly what you want to be doing and not feel like you have to sit in many spaces. Again, our marriage did that too. I noticed at first by how exponentially more powerful Justin and I were when we’re just able to allow each other to sit in our spaces. I quote this a lot, but it’s like, “Where two or more of you gather in My name, there also will I be.” There’s this exponential energy that happens when people choose to come together in those spaces.
What I’ve been able to do over the last year is really get clear. I don’t really want to be coaching people in the traditional sense. If people can’t manage their day-to-day and their decision making, I have attracted people who can assist them in that. Where I really, really love to play is in that oracle sense. “Let me show you what’s out there, what’s ahead, what’s up and out, and give you the affirmation that you’re looking for and assurances and the hope that what you’re journeying through has a purpose, there’s an end. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”
I don’t think I could have relaxed into that space without forcing myself to explore the collaborative model. “Wait, I don’t have to teach this.” I see a huge need for this co-creative relationships, so I felt obligated and responsible. “Okay, Justin and I have to teach this stuff.” I was like, “Wait, no we don’t. Other people are teaching this stuff.” Others show that it’s possible, that’s great. They’re welcome to ask us and all of this other stuff. At the end of the day, there are a lot of people who want to teach it. Let them teach it. It’s awesome. It feels like a fun swimming pool that we’re all swimming together in.
I love that image. When you first started talking about how, “Well, I could but I realized that I don’t want to teach that.” I felt relief. I just took a big deep breath and I was like, “Yes.” That’s just us being who we are in the moment, in every moment. Is this truly what is lighting up my heart and my soul? Is this truly what feels like I am relaxing? Or does it feel stressful? Does it feel like I have the heaviness? It feels light, it feels good. It doesn’t matter it is. If it feels that way for you, then it’s the next step.
I wasn’t putting this together before. Follow this. I keep telling people, “Be careful what you ask for.” We advise a lot of entrepreneurs and stuff. Everybody has got, “I’m going to build this million dollar enterprise doing this thing.” It’s like, “Well, that’s great, and you can do it. Make sure that you know what you’re asking for. Is that something you really want to manage?”
Justin and I did that early on. We were set on a particular trajectory and all of a sudden, wait, stop. We have a two-year-old. What are we asking for here? We pulled everything back in at that time and did a simple consultancy business at first. It was like, “Okay, this fits with our lives.” We wanted to travel. We wanted to get really clear on where we wanted to play. It wasn’t an easy model. I think that’s why people do coaching and consulting stuff because it’s an easy, easy business model. We also knew that we didn’t want to that longitudinally, that we didn’t come out of the spiral to create new jobs for ourselves. We wanted to build a business, but we just didn’t know how we wanted to it to look, so that was our segue.
I’ve been hearing that come up a lot lately with folks, about really be clear on what you’re asking for because there are implications of things that we don’t always anticipate. You can’t always see all of them. That’s a given. You can assume that if you’re building a multimillion dollar business, either you have to put a team in place or you’re going to be very busy managing the business at least for some time. This doesn’t seem like it fits, but I think it fits. Neva and I were watching a Netflix documentary on Pentatonix, on the group. That documentary took us through they won whatever singing show they won. “Oh my gosh. We’re great singers and we’re going to do this thing. We’ve got a record deal and we’re going on tour.” By the end of it, it’s like, “We haven’t seen our families. We haven’t done all the stuff.” I think we all buy into that.
We get into coaching. We put ourselves up on this pedestal and our clients put us there, and we have to do all of this. You know your client needs this piece of it but you don’t really have anyone to refer to in that piece. You feel obligated. You feel like, “I have to be able to do that for them” and you’re not great at it, but you do it anyway because you want to be helpful and they need it. We buy into this idea that you have to do it all. Back to the Pentatonix example. You don’t have to do tours that way. You could choose to do it differently. I talked to a lot of coaches. “I know I need to blog and I know need to do that.” I’m like, “Do you want to blog? Do you want to do it that way?”
There are these models that we see people being successful with, but we never stop and think, “Why was it successful?” It’s successful because it was what they wanted to do. I think it’s all interlinked. Just like with the marriage thing, with the parenting thing. Do you want to do it that way? I take people through an exercise and I question everything. “Do you still like chocolate ice cream? If you don’t, stop eating it.” I think we buy into this bill of goods that, I don’t know who’s paddling it, I guess we all are. I think it’s all connected to what you were just talking about in a really cool abstract way. What do you think?
Totally. I absolutely see everything that’s linked up there. I think that’s what my whole purpose in my business is, to help people uncover what is true for them and what they really want. I don’t like the word goals. I actually don’t use it, but to make maybe a vision of how they actually want to feel in their day-to-day life. What does your day look like? What does your day really look like? Like you said, do you want to be doing that? Do you want to be managing 50 people, or do you want to go for a swim every morning in the ocean? What is it that your soul is just calling for and crying for? We all know the answer to this, whether it’s just a tiniest whisper. I get those whispers.
If you don’t listen then it becomes maybe a normal talking voice. Then it becomes a scream.
If you don’t listen or you’re just ignoring it or maybe you don’t know how to listen to it, then it becomes maybe a normal talking voice. Then it becomes a scream. To your point also about why did this work for this person. Yes, they wanted it and it was in their highest. They were following the guidance that led them to what is in the highest for them. You cannot absolutely look at anybody else’s model or what’s going on for them. The only way I think that is official is if you go, “Oh yeah, that lights me up. That makes me feel really good to think about how do they do it and I can learn from them.”
The way we did it was, we’ve looked at pieces. “I like this piece of it.” What’s ironic is, I remember in college I was really into intercultural studies and interracial relations, stuff like that. I went to a retreat and you had to bring something that represented your culture. White middleclass America was like, “Okay. Setting me up for failure on this one.” I’m like, “I could bring the Christmas tree because I’m part German.” I don’t even connect to that. I brought a quote and it was from Montaigne. I got scoffed at anyway, but it was my thing. It said, “I’ve gathered a posy of other men’s flowers and only the thread that binds them is my own.”
I look at it and that’s how we built our business, that’s how we construct our lives. It’s like, “Oh, I want that piece and I want this piece, and I want this one.” We thread them all together, and feeling free to do that rather than to feel entrapped by this model or this thing. A lot of the problem I see lies in, this is a call out to consultants and coaches and stuff, don’t try to fit everybody into your box. It’s not going to work. We could use more intuitive strategists and stuff who can get inside somebody’s vision rather than overlaying. “Oh, this is how I did it. This is how you could do it.” That’s not going to work anymore.
We have way too many people that are testing the balance of what’s possible. The one that I see being successful is really be willing to say, “I don’t want to do that. I’m not interested in doing it that way, I’m going to do it this way and see if it works.” I think we’ve lost some of the trial and error capacity. That’s all life is, it’s trial and error. If it doesn’t work, try something different or tweak it a little bit. We could talk about this for hours. The shows about chaos and darkness. Are there dark forces at play in the world?
Oh gosh, this questions. Something I had a relationship with for a while. I will say that I cannot definitively know the answer to that. I don’t know that anyone can. I can only speak from my experience. For me, where I sit energetically in the world, in the space of all the universes and dimensions, I do not experience “evil” or “dark forces” in my life. I feel blessed because I have friends who are of course mediums and all of that. I have heard their stories that they have, but I have not.
I think there is light and dark because you can’t have one without the other. We all have those aspects to us. Of course, we can choose to operate in that space of those lower vibrations or unconsciousness or what have you, and do things that appear to be “bad” in the world. But I feel fortunate that I do not experience those darkness, evil, all of that myself directly when I’m working with people or when I’m just going about my day. I do have spirits that come to me that need help or whatever. It’s never scared me, they’ve never felt evil to me. They’re usually kids. I usually get the kids that come. They’re like, “Hi, can you play with me?” I’m like, “No, not right now. It’s bed time for me. Come back tomorrow at 8:00 AM when office hours are open.”
Someone had told me one time that if you work with non-incarnate beings you can actually set office hours and require payment. I thought that was just a cool thought. I don’t experience things that way, but part of me wanted to. I’m like, “Now I want to have office hours.” It was so much fun. Justin is probably more up to experience that kind of stuff. He plays that role in our partnership.
I love your response. I’m with you. I talked to people who went through very real experiences. I can’t say that it’s not real. I don’t experience it, I never have. But I also wasn’t attuned to clairvoyance and stuff at that point when I was really identifying with some lower frequencies, where I think that some of that stuff occurs. I had that luxury. I’ve watched some of what Neva has gone through and some stories Justin shared with me about his abilities. I think that my knowingness is just different. I don’t experience it. It’s hard to say one way or the other.
I like what you said about, it has to on some level because you can’t have one without the other. I believe in the ability to share light, so that would just absolutely denote that there’s places where that doesn’t exist. I feel like I’ve seen some of those places. I simply just don’t experience them where I’m at. Maybe I need to put a shout out. If you have experiences with dark forces, not so much the scary. Maybe as you were coming up in the world and honing your gifts and there were these aspects. Here is my advice. I’ll just admit it. I do find a lot of people like the romanticism of that. It’s like, “We’re fighting the dark forces,” and that feeds that warrior archetype and people want it.
I’m all for people creating the world whatever they want to play in. I don’t know that conversation is of interest to me. Or the conspiracy theorists, we could talk about those all day long. I wonder if there’s another angle of that conversation. I invite people, if you have another angle of that, reach out to us and let us know. I’m happy to have you on the show because I don’t see it, I don’t know what it is. But I’m actually sensing in this moment that there’s another perspective that I don’t know about, that would shed light on this. I think that’d be a fun conversation.
That would be. I’m sure there are things there to learn.
Very cool. Thank you so much, Tarah. Always delightful. I love just being in your space and in your energy. I’m so grateful that you’ve chosen to journey alongside us and share your energy and your light with the world. It makes me happy knowing you’re out there doing your thing. Thank you.
Thank you so much. I appreciate you, Tonya and Justin, and what you guys have created for the world, for us and for all those to come. It’s really amazing. Thank you so much. I appreciate you.
Thank you. It feels good to hear that. To all of you out there, as always, we appreciate your loyalty. Until next time. Go out, uncover your super powers and change the world. Take care, everyone.
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