We all want to lead a more confident life and Karen is no exception. When you’re confident with your body, your mind, and your soul, it allows you to live a life that looks and feel good. Having more self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered, especially if you really want to have a strong driving force in your life. Join A Glimpse Inside host Wendy Perrotti as she coaches Karen on building a skill set that will make her more confident, more courageous and more successful.
Welcome to A Glimpse Inside. I’m Wendy Perrotti. You are listening to episode three of our four part series, Creating Confidence. We have Karen back with us today. Last time we were talking about all the ways that that icky negative self-talk blocks us from living the life that we want to live. We gave Karen some homework to help flip that voice and lean into the best version of herself. On today’s coaching episode, we’re going to continue on with Karen as she learns how to lead a more confident life.
Before we dig in, I want to just quickly remind you of the rules of the game here on A Glimpse Inside coaching episode. This is not about advice. I always say that advice is sort of like wearing somebody else’s shoes. Even if you’re in the same size, they just don’t feel as good as your own. It’s really about helping us untangle that crazy swirled mind gunk that weighs us down, put it out into the real world so that we can look at it and then make choices based on all of the learning of our individual lives that suit us ourselves.
We always give you tools. This is a judgment-free zone and I encourage both Karen and all of you out there to take what resonates for you, apply it to other things that you already know, trust your gut and make it work for you. We’re here not to change, as you know by now, but to grow. As we always say, change is constant. Things change. They change back, they change again. But growth only happens in one direction. Nothing in nature ungrows, neither will you. Welcome back, Karen.
Thank you, Wendy. I’m so excited to have this opportunity to talk with you again.
I’m happy that you’re back here too. Tell us, in the past week since we’ve heard from you, what, if anything, came up for you? What, if anything, did you do with the homework that we gave you?
Thank you for that opportunity. I definitely had the opportunity to work with that little voice again. I had a couple of training sessions that I had to hold and I was not 100% sure of the subject matter, so I had to do some prepping and some research and spend some time with the documentation so that I felt comfortable presenting it and that little voice came up with uncertainty and doubt. I decided this is the time to befriend that little voice and say, “We’re going to hold hands and we’re going to walk through this together to get to the other side.”
It was challenging to hold the training, but we got through it and I felt better afterwards. I had a big relief and a big sigh and felt like that little voice calmed, calmed down when I befriended her.
I love that.
That was key. One of the homework assignments that you gave me was to identify that little voice and give her a name. I came up with a little fairy named Cicely and I was inspired because I came across on the Victorian Tea Time page, I love tea, they had a section called fairies by Cicely Mary Barker and I identified one of those little fairies with the wings and said, “That’s her, I’m going to name her Cicely.”
I love, love, love, love, love it. Did you do that before or after the little voice came up?
I did that before. Actually, after-
When you were holding hands and walking through with Cicely?
I was and actually I did that right after our meeting last week. You had said to name and visualize and possibly draw a picture or see a picture and I immediately did that. It was so helpful when that little voice started to come up again and I could say, “Okay, I know you. We’re friends and you’re Cicely.”
I absolutely love it. I love it. I can’t wait to see a picture of Cicely.
Yes, yes. I was so happy. I didn’t even know that I liked that page on Facebook and it came right up. It was this little video of all these fairy children. It was so sweet. So, it was perfect timing.
That’s awesome. I love it. I love that you did the work. What surprised you about that work, if anything?
That before I’ve tried to push that voice aside with the doubt and the fear and the anxiety. I would always try to just push it aside and say, “I’ve got a power through, power through,” but this time it was acknowledging that the voice is within me and I need to have a relationship with that voice and not just try to push it aside. That working with that little inner voice and saying, “We can get through this together,” seemed to help because I recognize that little voice is from very, very long ago when I had to have some survival tools to get through at a young age. Now that I’m an adult, some of those survival tools can cause more obstacles for me then than before. So, befriending that little voice I think is a key tool.
Yeah, it absolutely is. That voice in all of our heads comes from the coping strategy. We talked about this last week of how we got through it, right? When things scared us, when the world smacked us down, when something bad happened, we created these little coping mechanisms that made it feel safe enough and okay for us to continue on. It’s why we made it into adulthood.
What happens is as we grow up and we become adults and we want more out of our life, we want deeper intimacy, we want greater fulfillment, we want to live with purpose and mission in mind, those little coping strategies hold us back because we realize, safe from what? We don’t really need to make ourselves safe from these things that scared us when it got in the way when we were much younger. So, by befriending that version of ourselves, we’re really able to use the best of what we’ve grown as coping strategies to move on.
We’re going to take a quick break, but when we come back, not only are we going to coach about leading a more confident life, but we’re going to do a little visualization with Karen on how to really get close with Cicely. You’ll hear that as soon as we come back. As always, we’ll have tips and tools for you to work with your transformation and growth. Stay with us. We’ll be back in a flash with How To Lead A More Confident Life
Â
To listen to the entire show click on the player above or go to the SuperPower Up! podcast on iTunes.
Podcast: Play in new window
