What steps can you take, when someone you love is thinking about suicide? In this powerful episode of Your Superpowered Mind, host, Kristin Maxwell talks with Stacey Freedenthal, creator of SpeakingOfSuicide.com, about the steps friends and family members can take to support themselves and others around the reality of potential suicide. Stacey shares how to engage in specific important conversations to gauge the intensity of suicidal thoughts, as well as other clues to look for. Do not miss this important interview all about what to do when someone you love thinks about suicide.
Kristin Maxwell:
Hello, everyone, welcome to Your SuperPowered Mind. I am your host, Kristin Maxwell and in the show, we explore the process of transformation and give you tools and strategies that you can use to transform your own life. Today I am talking to Stacey Freedenthal about a really important topic. And that is what to do when someone you love is thinking about suicide. And Stacey Freedenthal is a therapist who specializes in helping people who think about suicide. With extensive experience in crisis and suicide prevention settings. She is the creator and manager of Speaking of Suicide at Speaking of Suicide.com She has also recently realized released the book, Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts with Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say or Do. And I am really excited to be talking to her about this topic because unfortunately, suicide is something that we’re often faced with people that we love experiencing these thoughts. And it’s such a time of feeling hopeless, and powerless. And so any guidance we can get on what to do and how to show up will be helpful. So anyway, Stacey, welcome to Your SuperPowered Mind.
Stacey Freedenthal:
Thank you. Thank you for having me.Â
Kristin Maxwell:
Yes, it’s such an important topic. And so my first question is always what superpower did you uncover? And the process of mastering your mind?
Stacey Freedenthal:
Well, when I initially heard this question, I had one answer. But can I give it a try?Â
Kristin Maxwell:
Yes, of course.Â
Stacey Freedenthal:
So the first answer that came to mind is hope. Being able to witness the transformation that occurs in people as well as in myself, has given me a lot of hope.
And also just understanding that things change. I mean, I would say it’s not false hope it’s not superficial, it gets better, but it is valid that things change, you know, and things can change for the better. And then my, the second thing that came to mind is good enough. Because I have had a long struggle with perfectionism. I sometimes think maybe when I came out of the womb, I thought, Oh, I didn’t do that the right way. And, so learning the value of being good enough, there’s that phrase, perfect is the enemy of good. And so learning the value of good enough has liberated me in some ways to be more creative and take more chances and be okay with being imperfect.
Kristin Maxwell:
Yeah. And that is so hard. Because no matter what we do, no matter where in anything, we can always have thoughts of, I could have done it better, should have done better. It’s always true. So it’s really hard to argue with when our mind goes into that space. So I love that. That’s exactly right. Yeah, so let me just let’s get started. Because I’m gonna go right in, you know when someone you love is thinking about suicide. Are you completely powerless?
Stacey Freedenthal:
No, there’s a myth. And it’s, it’s actually listed, you know, you’ll see a list of like, the 10 most common myths about suicide. And it’s always on this list. And it’s a myth that there’s nothing you can do once somebody makes up their mind to die by suicide. Now, I will say again, speaking of perfectionism, there’s also another way to be perfect at preventing someone from dying by suicide. I mean, you can do everything and there are people who will still unfortunately in their lives, but there’s also you know, between those two extremes of doing nothing and doing everything there are many things that you can do that can also make a huge difference. And we know this because people who have been stopped from suicide have been studied and years even decades later, the vast majority of them have not gone on to die by suicide.
Kristin Maxwell:
That’s really interesting. So they were glad that they were stopped. I want to go into obviously what it is that people can do and think and say to help someone, maybe change their mind, and then find hope again. But before we do, we’re gonna take a break. Before we do, can you let people know where they can find out about you and your work?
Stacey Freedenthal:
Sure, I would say two different websites. One is staceyfreedenthal.com and then speakingofsuicide.com.Â
Kristin Maxwell:
Great, thank you hang on everybody. And when we come back, we’re going to be talking more What about what actual steps we can do? When someone you love is thinking about suicide? We’ll be right back after the break.
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