Tonya Dawn Recla on Having Difficult Conversations

And so part of that is being able to have conversations, right talk about things that are uncomfortable, right things that we don’t agree on, maybe things that, that we have real feelings about that maybe that hurt our hearts, right, and, and when we when we don’t know how to manage those responses, it can be really intimidating to get into conversations where we feel like those things are going to come up or where they do come up, and then how to manage it, particularly when these are relationships that we really, really care about. And so there are a lot of ways that you can mitigate this. And of course, there are numerous variables, not not the least of which is you right? How do you handle conversations? How do you want to handle conversation, there’s no one size fits all. But there are some things we can all think about that help each of us develop our own ways of how we want to respond in situations that make us uncomfortable. 

We saw changes really, really rapidly and massive changes, which made a lot of people very, very uncomfortable. It’s to be expected when we see these huge waves. Great fun. That sounds like torture tone. Yeah, thanks. Anyway, right now, it’s worth sticking it out. And here’s why. I promise you it gets better. So even though all of that’s going on, right, we have ways that we can learn to actually use that, right? We’ve got folks working with it’s like, okay, it’s uncomfortable. But what’s that really mean? In my system? Does it mean changes happening? How can I respond to that? Right? And once you’re able to get into a little bit more choice with how to respond to that, then you feel much more confident, you’re able to imagine yourself in a bigger sort of perspective, if you will, it opens up your choices, right. Okay, so how do you do that, Tonya? Yes, please sign me up. I want all of that right. Now, do you have a red pill? I’ll take it. No. And it’s not as difficult as it sounds. So there’s a little bit of work that goes into it. As you can imagine you’ve been developing yourself differently than that for probably quite a long time now.

So unraveling a little bit can take a moment. Here’s where you start, though. Super simple. Imagine first like one of the steps that we do over superpower experts, is the very first step right is expanding your mind. Right. And it seems so simple. We talk about it all the time. But it’s really important to remember that most of us operate just right inside this little thing right here, right, and we’re huge, incredibly expansive beings. But when we go to our own internal process, or read our own internal computer in there, we’re quite limited in our scope of how we look at a situation. And so imagine, just just imagine the energy like that light is shining, and you’re just getting bigger, right? And we teach that technique over at CEFA. 

The other thing that really, really, really helps in those situations is to do the exact opposite of what you’d like to do in those situations. And that softens your heart, right? If these are relationships that matter to you to the extent that you can, in a moment, it’s hard sometimes when we get triggered, and if you just can’t if you can’t expand your mind and soften your heart, you may want to consider exiting the conversation for a minute until you can come back with a little bit more management of self. Because what we find is when we’re not able to expand our mind a little bit and when we constrict our hearts, we say things that aren’t kind, we say things we kinda like to take back later, we let ourselves do things that cause real challenges and relationships. And while all of that can be forgiven and overcome, you got to forgive and overcome it, right. So that’s its own process. And each one of us can exercise a little bit more management of self by simply expanding our minds, right? Just imagine that you’ve got this light inside your head, and it just gets bigger, right? It sounds silly, but it changes everything, right? And then the next step is just softening the heart. And if this stuff sounds too woo woo, trust me go over to superpowerexperts.com, we have taught this stuff in some really, really concretized environments, and it works. Don’t judge it just because it’s simple. The key is, and what’s not always so simple is in the moment, right? When you’re charged, when you feel that it’s like, right, that means you’re already caught up in it. That’s what we need to get ahead. And sometimes it’s difficult, but even remembering that you can do these things makes it easier to catch yourself in the moment. Right? 

So we’ll start with just remembering when we’re not triggered. So even right now, just visualize that. And it’s okay, right, you got a moment to go, okay. I’m not that program that’s running. And that’s huge. The second you can remember that you’re in choice again, right, you can see things a little bit more clearly. And then you get to exercise choice. And that’s a whole training in and of itself. So when we talked with Chad, and we were talking about the most important conversation, right, his company that really is promoting this concept that we can be bigger, right? We can have bigger conversations, we can talk about things like our feelings, right? We don’t have to walk around the world recreating from a place of limitation, our own limited perspectives of self right our own limitations of how generous we can be, how gracious we can be how loving we can be how how would you management of stuff we can be how sovereign we can be with our own energetics, folks, we’re given that stuff away for free, right? Someone pushes a button, you’re like, here’s all my creative energy, you can have it for free. Right here, you get some and you get some. Right. I disagree. I just follow like a little bit, right, all of that. That’s useful stuff, right? But we don’t remember that when those buttons get pushed, and no one shocks anybody, like a lot of these things are designed to push buttons, because it keeps us entertained. But it keeps us active. We liked it and we agreed to the game. 

The second we open up the app on our phone, we agree to the game folks. It’s rather undeniable. And so if you’re going to play the game, at least understand how the game is playing you. Right? Otherwise, you’re being played like you’re not playing anything, you are being played to somebody’s benefit, perhaps just the world, right? We like to be entertained by silly things sometimes. And so when you understand how the energetics work, it doesn’t mean you have to opt out though a lot of us try to do for quite a while because it’s wonky, right? You get a little squirrely in those environments. It’s uncomfortable, like we find ourselves creating our avatars and act the fool and we’re like, where does that come from? And it’s like none other than I’m not controlling myself here. Like I’m otherwise a pretty intelligent, managed human being but, you know, coming to social media, and it’s like, you know, people gone wild. Why? How does it happen? It’s not, it’s not rocket science, like we do know how it happens. It’s the energetics right? And when you understand and are attuned to the vibrational model of things, you understand why these conversations are getting so heated, and stratified, right and divisive? Like at the drop of the hat, and it’s just gonna get worse, folks. It’s just gonna get worse. That’s the spoiler, right? If we don’t take management of the energetics that we’re spewing all over the place, it gets worse from here, nothing gets better from here. Read the scripts, right? 

Just go back to any historical text, any spiritual guidance, anything you can find, go back and find it and the writing’s on the wall. We know it gets worse from here. If we don’t take a little bit of self, right, and look at what conversations we’re having, how we’re having them, what we’re giving away for free. Right? Like, because what we get upset about is something we weren’t even thinking about two seconds ago. Now all of our creative energies divested into that. Well, let me tell you, where that energy is not, it’s not with your children. It’s not with your spouse’s, it’s not with your business. It’s not with your life. It’s definitely not with you, because you’re not playing somebody else’s game, which is fine, play the game, play the games, they’re fun, play the game, but don’t let the games play you. And you have to understand the energetics if you’re going to be in these spaces, right, right? Elon Musk who said Twitter’s like a war zone like know that before you go into it into a story like you know what you’re doing? I remember when I enlisted in the Army. I had, I just defended my master’s thesis. 27 years old right now 11 happened. And within two months, I had enlisted in the Army. And I remember going through basic training and it was all kind of like, how in the world did I end up here, right. And there was a logical thread. 

But there was also that very guided field thread that was like, I’m sure somewhere down the road, this is going to click in for me, but right now I’m just kind of moving in that direction. And I remember being an observation of the younger recruits that had come in 17,18, and 19 years old. Those without a ton of life experience beyond knew what they had been acculturated with at home. And the defensive posturing to the reprogramming, right, the drill sergeants in your face, screaming at you, like Spiddal got it right for two seconds and all that for me to be like, got it, you run the show, you rock I suck. Like, I’ll just be over here doing exactly what you told me to do to the best of my ability, like, I’m not going to argue with you. Because I wanted to see how that reprogramming was working. Right, I wanted the reprogramming discipline. But I saw the resistance to that, right. I was like, You can’t do this. And you can’t do this, I’m thinking to myself, like they said the same contract either. Like it was voluntary. It’s still a voluntary military, particularly for females, right.

And it’s fascinating what we do to ourselves, we volunteer to jump into these conversations, we let ourselves get pulled in like that. And we lose ourselves to them, which is fine, lose yourself, it’s a great, it’s a great ride, right? If you can handle it. But if you’re not aware of what you’re doing, it creates real damage in your relationships, or potential relationships, which also is fine if you’re okay with that. But to expect that you’re going to have some sort of creative Creative Management, or intentional creative expression that you can predict in any sort of fashion, or funnel or channel into any sort of result, when that’s how your energy is being expended.

You’re setting yourself up for repeated disappointment. And it creates a lot of problems. I mean, I’ve been interviewing people on this podcast alone since 2016. But in research environments since the 90s, right on what’s making us click what’s going on inside of those brains of ours, right? studying this stuff so that we can finally say, Okay, I think we got an idea of what’s really going on here. And we are more powerful than any of that. Right? So remembering that is key. And the best way to remember that is to follow those two steps that I mentioned from the CEFA process. Those are the first two techniques that we teach expanding your mind. Right, it sounds simple, but holding that all the way out, you should feel that release. Let’s do it together, right? Let’s just do it. 

Okay. Right. So just right now, imagine that you have a light inside of your heads and we have a light inside of our heads. It’s flickering there. It’s always on, it’s like our own little pilot light. You can’t it cannot be extinguished until this body is gone. Right. And even then it goes on, right. But it’s in there, it’s there. I promise you that it is there, it is live, I don’t care how low you think you are right now. It’s laid out in you. So you can imagine that light filling your head just getting bigger and bigger and let yourself relax into the idea that this could get bigger or bigger than it gets beyond this. Beyond the world bigger out into what we refer to as creative intelligence, the potential that we all share. Let that provide relief. And you don’t have to hold all of it in your own head. It’s not just you a lot of the stuff that we’re all dealing with in very personal ways. And that goes back eons. 

We didn’t, it didn’t start with us, folks. It didn’t start with us. It’s manifested here. We’ve certainly been complicit and complacent but it didn’t start with us. It’s going to take all of us to unpack this. Don’t put that on yourself. Right. You have to be responsible for your pieces. But you’re not responsible for that program that was developed before you. Way before you expand your mind out and let that go to okay, I don’t understand. I don’t take the release. I’ll take the moment of peace. Just that one flicker of hope. Take it. Expand out and then let that light fill your throat reminding you that you can speak from the right angle into your heart and just even if it’s just on the very edges. That’s as far as you know, you’ll go right now with me just soften the edges of your heart.

So let’s go through your arms, through your hands, connecting it in that way, you can remember that your heart is always solid. It’s powerful. Just no matter what conversation you’re facing, that’s going to help you remember who you are. Because they’re just the first two steps, folks practice those. Maybe you can’t practice them in the presence of others yet, because the charge is too intense. That’s fine. Do it in your own space. Rewind this one.

What’s the thing? What do we call it? Now? I don’t know, go back, go back. I don’t know what to call it.

Watch it again. And feel that for yourself. And remember, that’s in you. It is you. You are that powerful. And it’s worth it. To take that moment before going into conversations with people who matter about things that matter to us. Because you’re gonna want that creative energy folks, it is the most amazing ride ever. Right? It is the thing we’re seeking. It is what we’re looking for and it is here. Learn how to control it, right learn how to hold it, or how to work with it. You got this, do those first two steps and you’ll get there okay, but that is how we start having the most important difficult conversations. And if you want to hear more about that company, what they’re doing, make sure you check out Chad’s interview when it comes out on The Science of Superpowers. You can watch it on YouTube, you can watch it on rumble. Listen to podcasts around the globe. Thank you so much for keeping us in those upper ranks above 1.5%. globally.

We thank you all. It matters to us. We know what matters to you. And we appreciate your support throughout the years. Until next time, right. Even beyond next time, remember who you are. We love you. Love each other. Bye for now.

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