Hello and welcome everyone to SuperPower Mommas. I’m so excited you’re here. I am your host Laura Greco, and today’s topic is Self Improvement Habits That Create Harmony and Peace. I am so excited because I have Lauren Cardinale here with me and we are going to be discussing this topic again of habits that really create harmony and peace. Lauren has started out in her world in the corporate field, but when we melt down everything she’s done in that way, what really stands out to me is that she ultimately functioned as a mentor, a communicator, a liaison, and confidant, more or less a coach throughout her time. She is also specializing in hypnotherapy which is a beautiful way of assisting people in their healing process, especially with main management. But what I loved about what I learned about Lauren also is that she has spent a lot of time educating people around positive communication, and also around how we think and how what we think really matters in our life and what manifests in our life.
Lastly, she discusses often about the lost art of listening, and isn’t that true? Often I say that children, what they need most from their parents is to be seen and to be heard, and to know that they are valued and loved. Yet isn’t that what we all really want from others too? And really turning that attention to us and how we listen to ourselves. So without further ado I’d like to introduce Lauren. Thank you for being here.
Thanks so much for having me Laura.
I’m so glad that we are having this opportunity to bring you to the audience, and so I want to thank the audience also. So when we’re thinking, of course we’re thinking about the topic of self improvement and how does that create harmony and peace. In your journey you have done quite a number of things, however what I’d like to ask you now is our traditional question which is, what is your Momma SuperPower Lauren?
Well Laura, I’ve given that thought to that superpower. That’s a big question, a superpower, that’s a mighty big claim. Given what you said in the intro, all the things that you were covering, I was like, “Oh my gosh, let’s just start talking, ’cause I’m sure there’s just so much to talk about.” But the superpower that I feel I bring to my children and to my family, to the kids that I work with, and what I try and bring when I do speaking engagements to high schools and schools is that idea of, probably best to say it as resiliency. The perspective, the coping mechanisms, the way we understand ourselves and that we can only control ourselves, and in how we do that we have more power than we even realize until we start to work with it. Does that make sense?
Yeah, so resilience and the ability to tap in to your superpower, and you have a family, you have two children, right?
I do, I have two boys. Two teenage boys.
Right, so I wanted to just bring that up for the audience. So resilience really is your superpower is what you’re telling me, right?
Well let me say I hope that’s my superpower. That’s really where I spend my focus and that’s what I try and teach and exemplify and be a role model for. So that’s my aim.
Yeah, I love that. I love that word because really, there is nothing perfect in life, right?
So the resilience at least from what I can see is perfect for what you not only live yourself but teach to others, because this gives them an opportunity to take whatever is going on and create an experience of happiness and joy, and peace and harmony, which is what we’re talking about. I love that. I love that. When did you notice that you had this superpower?
My whole journey in life was really to prepare me for being a mom.
Good question. I kind of think that my whole journey in life was really to prepare me for being a mom, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. That being a mother, as my kids started to grow, you see and experience and witness the feelings that they’re having, and of course they make sense. Of course the feelings that they’re having are making sense, and from the adult perspective, crying over a toy or something like that, it makes perfect sense. But helping them move through that … So it started out when my kids were very young, and not from the perspective of, “It’s okay,” or necessarily even the distraction and moving on to something happy, because that’s not realistic in our adult lives either. It’s working through it, which is where the resiliency and the coping mechanisms come from, right?
Yes, right. So as you’re saying, your experience with your children and utilizing basically your superpowers, which I’m sure you have more than one, is a way to really realize the person that you are. Is that right?
Yeah, and honoring the feelings that we have because, and I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve said this to my kids, to my clients, both children and adults, that your feelings are valid simply because you’re having them. They don’t need to be justified by anybody else. If you’re feeling it, it is valid. That’s it. That’s all we need to know. Then, what does it mean and how do we move through that?
Right, right. I love that, first of all acknowledging our feelings is vital, because you do teach a lot about how we think really affects our health as well as our relationships, correct?
Absolutely. Absolutely. I could go on for hours about that, but I won’t. But absolutely.
Yeah. So the point that you’re making here really is to just recognize them and be with those feelings, instead of allowing them to recede or stuff them down and have them reside somewhere in our bodies.
Right. One of the first questions that I ask people for any feeling that they’re having is, where do you feel it in your body?
Yeah.
Okay you’re feeling anger, where are you feeling it in your body? Okay, notice that, pay attention to it. One particularly beneficial, which depending on the age might be more appropriate at times than others, but a question to ask yourself or to encourage others to ask the kids, to ask ourselves, “Isn’t it interesting that I’m feeling that. What is that about?” “I’m feeling angry and I feel it in my stomach. Oh isn’t that interesting, what am I angry about?” So we start to get that perspective and some objectivity about it, which is so important ’cause that’s where the learning is, and then we can change it.
Oh yes, correct. I love that. I love the questions. Busy lives of moms today create a stir that they’re not able to slow down, or at least feel like they can’t slow down, to take the time to be with the feeling that they’re having and then have an opportunity to look at it in a new way. But acknowledging it is very important, and then moving on to, at least that’s what I teach, okay so we have this feeling and we feel this way. Now let’s take a look at where this is going and what changes can we make, right?
That doesn’t mean the answer has to come in a moment.
Yeah, and the thought and the questioning only takes a moment, but that doesn’t mean the answer has to come in a moment. It can be a day or two before we realize and understand what, let’s go with the same example, what the anger is about, and that’s fine. When there’s time, it’ll bubble up. It can percolate and the answers will come. There’s no timing on the answers, the learning, it’s allowing the learning to take place.
Yeah. I know for me, writing helps me. When I can’t seem to sort it out I just come up into my office here and just start writing away and see what comes. I don’t even know what to write half the time, I’m just writing because, okay, I’m writing ’cause I’m angry.
Yeah, and you know what Laura? I have to say that’s something, and I know a lot of people benefit from writing and journaling and think thoughts out that way. But if I put myself into that same mode as many mothers where, oh, the time factor, the time factor and analyzing the emotions I thought, “Oh my gosh to sit down and just start journaling or writing for 10 minutes, I don’t have time for that. I have to do the laundry, I have to this, I have to do that.” It didn’t happen for the longest time until, it was last year, I sat down and actually did it one time. I set the timer for 10 minutes and in five minutes, I had the answer that I needed. I was like, “This is fantastic.”
Yeah, I know. I know, and it is hard and we do find ourselves then dwelling on it while we’re doing the laundry and while we’re doing everything else, right?
Absolutely. Yeah.
That can be hard for us, to find peace and harmony when we’re not sorting this out. So I’m glad we brought this out. We have to take a quick break Lauren, but this is a very exciting conversation so I’d like to invite everyone to stay with us. You’re listening to SuperPower Mommas. Oh, before we go, Lauren can you please let people know how they can find you?
Oh sure. You can find me on my website which is laurencardinale.com.That’s the easiest way. My phone number is there but I’ll leave it anyway 973-418-2170. Those are the best ways.
Beautiful, thank you Lauren. So you’ve been listening to Self Improvement Habits That Create Harmony and Peace, something we all want, so stay tuned, we’re going to be right back
To listen to the entire show click on the player above or go to the SuperPower Up! podcast on iTunes.
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